What is a Real Woman Part 2

Last week, we began the conversation "What is a Real Woman?", I suggest that you read that post to catch up with us. Readers replied here, on Facebook and in actual human conversation. The Instigator, Brett Gourdie, publisher of  NM3 Magazine has gotten a ton of response to his article "Real Men". So Brett is coming on Mary in the Morning this Thursday, January 14 at 7:30AM to discuss Real Women and take calls (231 929-1067).

Some of the best comments have included:

A Real Woman...doesn't care what she looks like when a child is crying, understands the value in not answering an email, has worn her child's macaroni necklace in public, has decided not to scold her husband at least once, treasures a mysterious conversation with a stranger in an airport bar, has more than one swimsuit that fits, knows where her safe deposit box key is, can do her own taxes, snow blow her own driveway and in a pinch mow the lawn. She can grill a steak, open a bottle of champagne and drag an armoire across the floor using a towel.

and another...

I think that being a Real Woman, if there is such a thing, is about acknowledging the unique power of ones femininity while showing strength and confidence in one's convictions. We have more power at our manicured fingertips than we know what to do with.

and another...

Nurturing, confident, self sufficient. A real woman lets the man open the door and helps with her coat. I real woman is assertive and knows there is never a second chance for a first impression. She balances work, family and community involvement.

 The vast majority of responses included a healthy nod to confidence and respect for herself and others. A real woman is confident in her role as a woman, whatever that may mean to her, and she is ruled by self-respect. What other women may choose for themselves is none of her business and she supports their decision.

I think it is much easier to be a Real Man than a Real Woman. The lines are drawn fairly clearly on the man gig. Women have a much tougher road, with traditional vs. modern roles. Not only must we carve our own path, we may be straying from our mother's path, which was our natural model to follow.All the while feeling quite criticized and judged by others. It is a big no-win, unless you believe 100% in yourself. Unwavering belief.


As for the stories about real men being bullied by women for whom they opened a door for... if these women had more self-confidence, they would see this as a gesture of respect, would smile and say "thank you".


Tune in to Mary in the Morning (106.7FM or 105.5FM or www.1067youfm.com) Thursday, January 14 at 7:30 to hear NM3 publisher, Brett Gourdie and Mary Rogers discuss Real Men vs. Real Women. Phone lines open at 231 929-1067.


 

What is a Real Woman?

Few things can leave me speechless. Not the kind of speechless where you have no comment whatsoever, but the kind of speechless where you have heard something, want to comment or respond, but all you can muster is an jaw-dropped pie hole. I'm looking for input here, from both men and women, so stay with me on this, okay?

Brett Gourdie wrote a great piece in his mag, NM3 about real men. He writes about teaching his son to hold the door for women and he laments the demise of common courtesy and respect in our society. Gourdie then ventures out on a limb with his list of what defines a real man. I liked the list. But it made me ask myself the question, What makes a REAL WOMAN?

You would think that Mary Rogers, of all people, would have a machine gun style list of answers to this. Nada. Every phrase I came up with seemed to require a politically correct disclaimer like: A real woman can support herself, well, unless she is a stay at home mom with a husband paying the bills, which is fine, because being a mom is a full time job. Or... A real woman can change a tire, unless she just doesn't want to because she is wearing $400 Jimmy Choos and a short skirt, and she knows how to call her brother or the auto club.

I've asked several women about this question of what makes a real woman and they all found themselves doing the one step forward take back two as well. Why is this? I googled the question and found a blog with over 150 comments on the topic.

When you say "Real Man", you know what the ideal is. A manly yet sensitive guy with a good dose of integrity and red, white and blue running through his veins. What is the ideal of a Real Woman? The role of women has changed so drastically that we just don't know the baseline anymore. It has become taboo to tell a woman to want to be anything other than what she has chosen for herself. Is that good? Maybe. Is that bad? Dunno.

In polling women on the matter, a single word keeps popping up: confidence. A real woman is confident. Men and women are equally attracted to confident women. As long as confident doesn't ooze over the fine and subjective live into bitch.

Next week I will present a list of suggestions for filling in the sentence: A real woman_________. In the meantime, please comment freely, I'm confident you have an opinion!