Is there anything new to say about Work/Family Balance?

The very worst guest on Mary in the Morning is the "expert" that points out a very serious issue and then spends the next 15 minutes of valuable airtime saying exactly that, over and over and over. This issue is SOO important. No innovative solution, no 3 step plan to make things better. Just a reiteration of why the topic is so important and even more annoyingly, how important it is that you resolve this issue... or else here's the bad news: (fill in the blank). BUT NO ANSWERS WE CAN USE.

Whenever I hear from a publicist about an author who has tackled the Work vs. Family Balance issue, I ask to see the book before agreeing to the booking. I have yet to read anything new on the topic. There are some guiding principles that we are all familiar with:

1. Learn to say no
2. Delegate at home and work
3. Demand support for your career from family members
4. Work for a company that supports family-friendly policies
5. Approach your career phases as seasons, relating to the demands of your family over a period of time

Beyond these basics, I have yet to hear anything ground-breaking or even interesting on the topic. I just crave my Calgon Take Me Away moment when I consider the issue. I just read an e-mail from a listener who would like more conversation on the Mary in the Morning show about family/work balance. She is hopeful that other listeners will have great ideas that they could share with each other. Have I become cynical and skeptical? I predict a morning of dead air.

This is a challenge for every woman I know and I have come to believe that there exists a unique approach for every woman. No one-size-fits-all answer. Some of us get it and some of us spend way too much of our time feeling inadequate and a disappointment to others.

Our mothers blazed the trail for us, gaining entry to many career fields that were closed to us. They told us we could be anything we wanted and we did it! But we haven't figured out how our families are going function if we aren't there. Carol the Corporate Wonder thinks that her 11 year-old daughter will be so proud of Mom for being the first woman in her company to be promoted to Regional Manager, but in reality, she'd prefer you be home after school to help make banners for swim team. Women go around and around in their minds, trying to remember what is really important and what is not. How much are they willing to sacrifice for their families, how much for their careers? Would your husband's give up your $45,000 salary in exchange for a more relaxed life partner?

Do you have ideas to share? Let's start the conversation here and see where it goes...

Love and Business

As women will do, I was chatting with a friend about well, yes, relationships. We were talking about people marrying up or down. My friend recalled a conversation she had with her bright, successful niece about her engagement to a man that was quite frankly a total loser. The bride-to-be beamed when she spoke of how her loser fiancé made her feel special and loved like never before. The wise aunt asked her “Tell me what you love about him?” Again the bride rallied on about his understanding of her personality, his patience with her, how he adores and accepts everything about her. She had never felt so confident about herself in a relationship or even in general. She owed it all to him. Asked again, “But really, what do you love about HIM?”  The young woman cocked her head and said “I don’t get what you mean?” Yikes. Fast-forward three years, and predictably the niece had taken her now self-confident self on the road and left the loser, telling her friends that she realized she never really loved him. Double yikes. Aunt: 2 points!

So what does this have to do with business? Plenty. The employer/employee relationship is very similar to a marriage. If an employee judges their marriage with your company only by what they get from the relationship, it won’t last. However if an employee loves being a part of the company, feels pride in how the company operates, can point to specific examples of the company doing the right thing, acting with integrity and charity in the community, respecting all employees, and making smart decisions, the employee will stay with you through thick and thin.

These are the businesses that when a company-wide pay cut is needed, employees don’t gripe or curse; they work harder to save the company they love. How do you know which type of company you are?

Ask yourself:
Do departing employees typically leave for higher paying companies?
Are company parties, special occasions poorly attended?
Employees would prefer to not wear logo attire?
There are many long time employees?

Your answers should give you some insight into how lovable your company is. Surprisingly it has very little to do with compensation and more to do with integrity, smart management and caring about your staff.

My advice: People need to know that they a part of something bigger and better than themselves. Be a good company and communicate the how and why to your employees and your community. Make employees feel proud of their association with your company.

If you work for a company you love, tell us why. Maybe an employer will learn something.

Mary

Your Mary in the Morning Internship Experience

What do you do when you need more staff and the budget master says "No!". You hire interns!!!  If you need college credit, or you are "available for new opportunities", this may be just the way to spend your summer, gaining valuable work experience, references and contacts. You do not need to be interested in a radio career to benefit from the Mary in the Morning Internship Experience. You will be using skills in marketing, research, social media, promotion, entertainment and more. You will also have more fun than any intern deserves, but we can't help that!

Join the Mary in the Morning Show as an unpaid intern.
The Official Mary in the Morning Internship Experience 
Spring/Summer 2010

Title: Mary in the Morning Intern

Location: Traverse City, MI

Job Description: Intern will support Host and Producer of Mary in the Morning.  We are currently offering a unique and exciting internship with Northern Broadcast, including 1067YOU-FM, Marigold and Mary in the Morning.

Approx 25-30 hours per week with some flexibility.

Roles and Responsibilities: Intern will assist in day-to-day activities of creating the Mary in the Morning show with heavy emphasis on show prep including guest/topic research, developing local contacts, and social media.  The vast majority of your duties will be hands on, seat of your pants Mary in the Morning show creation providing support for all behind-the-scenes elements including promotions and programming. During the live show, you will be greeting show guests, making them comfortable, assisting chefs with their gear, getting coffee, pulling audio from internet sources, and generally working in fabulously orchestrated chaos.Yes, you may find yourself ON-THE-AIR, but your primary role will be behind the scenes.

Requirements:

•    Must be computer literate and internet savvy

•    Internships are available to non-students looking for work experience

•    First consideration is given to college students seeking an academic internship for receiving academic credit - it is the applicant's responsibility to set up the internship with the school

•    You must be 18 years of age or older

•    We specialize in lifestyle issues of women age 30-55. Interns must relate to this market segment

•    Must be available in-studio 6AM to 9AM Mon-Fri. for 90 day internship. Interns are invited to, but not required to work off-site events.

How to get this position:

Send an e-mail to Mary@GoMarigold.com including a message of WHY you want to join our team, what you bring to the table and when you can start. Also include a link to a you tube video or article that you think would make a great topic for a segment of the show. Include your resume and contact info!

What is a Real Woman Part 2

Last week, we began the conversation "What is a Real Woman?", I suggest that you read that post to catch up with us. Readers replied here, on Facebook and in actual human conversation. The Instigator, Brett Gourdie, publisher of  NM3 Magazine has gotten a ton of response to his article "Real Men". So Brett is coming on Mary in the Morning this Thursday, January 14 at 7:30AM to discuss Real Women and take calls (231 929-1067).

Some of the best comments have included:

A Real Woman...doesn't care what she looks like when a child is crying, understands the value in not answering an email, has worn her child's macaroni necklace in public, has decided not to scold her husband at least once, treasures a mysterious conversation with a stranger in an airport bar, has more than one swimsuit that fits, knows where her safe deposit box key is, can do her own taxes, snow blow her own driveway and in a pinch mow the lawn. She can grill a steak, open a bottle of champagne and drag an armoire across the floor using a towel.

and another...

I think that being a Real Woman, if there is such a thing, is about acknowledging the unique power of ones femininity while showing strength and confidence in one's convictions. We have more power at our manicured fingertips than we know what to do with.

and another...

Nurturing, confident, self sufficient. A real woman lets the man open the door and helps with her coat. I real woman is assertive and knows there is never a second chance for a first impression. She balances work, family and community involvement.

 The vast majority of responses included a healthy nod to confidence and respect for herself and others. A real woman is confident in her role as a woman, whatever that may mean to her, and she is ruled by self-respect. What other women may choose for themselves is none of her business and she supports their decision.

I think it is much easier to be a Real Man than a Real Woman. The lines are drawn fairly clearly on the man gig. Women have a much tougher road, with traditional vs. modern roles. Not only must we carve our own path, we may be straying from our mother's path, which was our natural model to follow.All the while feeling quite criticized and judged by others. It is a big no-win, unless you believe 100% in yourself. Unwavering belief.


As for the stories about real men being bullied by women for whom they opened a door for... if these women had more self-confidence, they would see this as a gesture of respect, would smile and say "thank you".


Tune in to Mary in the Morning (106.7FM or 105.5FM or www.1067youfm.com) Thursday, January 14 at 7:30 to hear NM3 publisher, Brett Gourdie and Mary Rogers discuss Real Men vs. Real Women. Phone lines open at 231 929-1067.


 

Zing Train Take-away

Marigold brought Zing Train to town last week and the 150 people who took part in all or some of the day have been raving about the content shared by Stas' and Ann from Zingerman's. I think each person had a different aha moment that they wanted to share as soon as they got back to their own business.

Mine was this: Customer service isn't just for customers. Customer service extends to employees, co-workers, vendors and yes, even competitors. How we treat other people and organizations contributes to our brand and reputation in the community.

If a co-worker is being crabby, instead of blowing them off or complaining about their bad attitude, maybe an offer of help would break their bad-day cycle.

• To the receptionist about to explode: "Looks like some one really teed you off, can I answer phones for you for 5 minutes so you can take a break?".
• To the vendor or supplier sounding overwhelmed by your order: "I know you guys are crazy right now, want me to call you back in an hour?"
• To your business partner who can't focus on your conversation: "I can see you have something important going on that's distracting you, should we shelve this project for a few days?'

In each of these cases we could legitimately complain that the other person was not being "professional" or whatever other derogatory term you choose. But haven't we all been there, when a kind word of understanding without a bunch of questions would have been sooo appreciated.

Unless this is a chronic situation, being helpful in their "moment" creates such a better environment for everybody.

Mary

Open invitation to vent!!!!!!

I just loved the comment made by Anonymous to last week's blog post about women and equality in the workplace. It deserves a post all its own!

Anonymous said...

The timing for this topic is amazing to me. Last night I finally arrived home from my daughter's swim meet at 10:30pm. (I drive her to school every morning at 7:15am and then go to work.) My husband had been home for at least 2+ hours having left the meet early to go home and walk the dog. He never thought to take care of the dishes or help with laundry and doesn't understand why I'm so stressed to arrive home to a messy house and then I can't sleep with so much left to do in the house. Why am I not ready for romance when I enter the house? No my man does not contribute to the housework enough at all. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dear Anonymous:

I feel for you. We all feel for you. We've been in your tight pumps with our screaming swollen feet at the end of the day, only to find more to do when we walk in the door. And there sits the family on the couch eating chips from bags you bought, leaving crumbs on the carpet which you will vacuum, unless they get scarfed up by the dog who you feed, bath, and take to the vet 6 times a year. The kitchen sink is filled with dishes of a meal you made the night before for your family, crusted baking dishes that "need to soak". The dishwasher is filled with the clean dishes you ran that morning because nobody knows "where they go". Laundry, you say? I won't even go there.

Please consider this blog post an invitation from me to openly complain, vent & vetch about the crappy deal we've made with the idea of equality. Go for it! I'll edit the really bad words out, but promise to keep the spirit of your rant.

Your friend,
Mary Rogers

Perspective in a waiting room

Not that I’m recommending this, but spending an afternoon in the Michigan Department of Human Service’s waiting room can certainly change your perspective. This is where people in need make their first contact for state aid.

My visit was for registry clearance (a background check) for service on a board of directors. The folks around me, not so fortunate. I struck up a conversation with a well-dressed woman a few years younger than me sitting in the next chair. I had assumed that the reason for her visit was something similar to my own. Not even close.

This woman, had spent her adult life married to a wonderful man since graduating from high school together. She hadn’t gone to college because they had planned for her to be a stay at home mom. Her goal in life, to be the perfect wife and mother. Beautiful children are born, a starter house becomes a larger home, vacations every year, life is easy, life is good. All going according to plan.

When her wonderful husband suddenly and unexpectedly died 2 months ago she discovered some things. No savings, no life insurance, no retirement fund, no equity in the beautiful home and lots and lots of debt. She received her husband’s final pay check, including untaken sick days and nothing more. Health insurance could be made available to her, short-term, at an astronomical price. She was at the DHS office trying to establish Medicaid for herself and her school-age children. As we continued talking, she filled me in on her current state: she had a temperature of 103, having been diagnosed the day before with double ear infections ( one ear drum had ruptured) at Urgent Care where they gave her a prescription which the pharmacist filled and then asked for $800.

Her saga continued, and you can only imagine the pile of hard reality at her feet. Bottom line: She said all she really wanted to do was lay down on the dirty floor and cry herself to sleep and wake up with the nightmare behind her. She knows that she needs to go to college and get training, but hasn’t figured out how to pay for it, much less pay for groceries to feed her family. In her wildest dreams, she never thought this hell would be her own life.

There are so many life lessons in this tale, and they are so blaringly obvious, I won’t even list them here. Sigh.