Chick in Charge of Money

A Chick in Charge of her money. Let that sit with you for a moment and try to visualize her... from her hair to her shoes... her home, her income, her investments. My first question for you is this: Do you like her? Are you envious? Inspired?

If you are picturing a wealthy well-dressed Jane meeting with her broker in a corner office, I now feel completely inadequate. But, if you are seeing Linda, sitting at her kitchen table surrounded by bills and checkbooks, a woman who is having to make hard choices about her spending, now we are in a reality we can all appreciate.

My idea of a chick in charge of her money has a very clear understanding of her priorities and her budget reflects those. She knows that she never wants to rely upon her kids in old age, so she fully invests in her 401k. The tough part is that Linda cannot do that and save for her kids college expenses. She might feel completely lousy as a parent for this, but she has a reason to stick to her plan. If she were completely focused on making more money for the college fund she would be working longer hours and not be able to actually BE with her kids while they are growing up. She also funds a family vacation each year. That money could go to the college fund, but then her kids would never have seen the Grand Canyon or gone to Washington D.C.

She is OK with the plan because it is a plan, not a failure to plan.

For those without the kid factor, the tough choice might be to go on a weekend trips or to fancy restaurants with "better funded friends" instead of sticking to a debt payment plan. The point is this: If you haven't come to terms with what is really important to you, you find yourself making bad in-the-moment emotional decisions about money.

Think about your home. Are you in a big house with big maintenance bills just because you grew up in a house like that and think it is the proof of your success? Is travel more important to you but now out of reach because of your house obligations? Maybe, just maybe, a far less expensive apartment could give you the freedom to travel? Would you be embarrassed to say that you don't own a big home on a nice street?

Do you continue to invest in a business that has become a complete drain on your bank account and spirit but can't stomach the idea of throwing in the towel?

Let me say that I don't have my finances all tied up in a pretty bow, not by any means. I struggle with impulsive behavior all the time. But I am working on being less emotional about my money.

I was interviewing a master gardener for the show and he contrasted American and Japenese home gardens. In America, we plant our most beautiful flowers right up against the front of our houses. A Japanese woman would find this to be crazy, she can't see them from her kitchen window. She plants her most prized flowers AWAY from the house so that SHE can enjoy them best, not her neighbors or strangers driving by. Hmmm... Are you making financial decisions to impress or please others, or are you creating a life picture that you prize?

That is a Chick in Charge of her money.

What is a Chick in Charge? Part 2

As I put forth in my previous post, I consider a Chick in Charge to be a woman who takes personal responsibility for her entire life.

"But that's not fair!" you may feel. "There are other forces in charge of my boat!". Here's what I say to that: Only if you put them there. You can't always be in control of every aspect of your life, of course not. But when you grant that control to other people or institutions, you should do it with what I call Reasoned Grace.

For instance, perhaps you can't put 100% effort into advancing your career right now because you have 3 children who need daily bathing, a husband who you adore making dinner for, and a German Shepard that likes to sit on your feet while you watch Two and a Half Men on Monday nights instead of attending City Commission meetings. The problem is when you start complaining about watching Jane at the office get promoted past you because you are a mom. If being home, really home, after 5:30 is your reward at the end of the day, hooray for you!

If you've made a decision with Reasoned Grace, you accept responsibility for the consequences of YOUR DECISION to have different priorities. A Chick in Charge makes deliberate choices and decisions about her life and doesn't feel the need complain or explain because the only place to go is the bathroom mirror. She gives herself the power to frame AND responsibility for her lot in life.

This is not easy. Women who achieve this have a crystal clear sense of their core values. You lose your confidence when those values become murky. What is really important to you right now? This is why transitions in women's lives are so tough. In one decade, your children are first on your list, a few decades later your aging parents make an appearance at the top. Where did my yoga go????

Your Chick in Charginess is reflected primarily in two ways that you can measure: money and time. Where do you spend your money? Where do you spend your time? If you have a clear sense of priorities, decisons of time and money become so much easier!

Next week we will explore Chicks in Charge of their money...

What Is a Chick in Charge? Part 1

Are you a chick in charge? Do you know one? I started the Chick in Charge
brand message a few years ago and found that the words made some people just downright uncomfortable while others flocked to buy any merchandise I
created. I am fascinated by the various interpretations of this little 3 word phrase. Some assume that it is meant for female bosses or business owners. I've been told by a few men that it simply warns them of a *itch in their midst.

To my senses, here is what defines a Chick in Charge: A woman who makes the most of her personal assets, understand and battles her flaws and never puts her head in the sand. She is in charge of....... herself. What does that mean? She takes personal responsibility for her entire life.

So what does it really mean to take personal responsibility? Think about the women who strike you as Chicks in Charge. She is her own source of power, her own source of happiness, she responds to her circumstances not reacts. I have always marveled at women who have been victimized and somehow seem to overcome all odds and move on. Or the minority youth, raised in poverty, rises above society's expectations and graduates from Yale. These are women who refuse to live a lesser life than the one they dream of. Nobody is going to dictate the boundaries of their potential.

At the other extreme, are women who have been given every advantage in terms of heritage, financial support, education and opportunity who have manufactured their own boundaries: living to meet others expectation instead of their own, buying into put-downs, following a parents dream instead of their own, accepting her culture's diminished view of a lifestyle, finding comfort in a blanket of fear and lack of confidence. These are definitely
NOT Chicks in Charge.

Realistically, we each have a toe in both profiles. Do you get that intuitive gut feeling when you are not being true to yourself? Do you negotiate with yourself? I'd love to hear your comment! E-mail me: mary@goMarigold.com and let me know if I can share your thoughts in a future article. More on this next week....

When I grow up...

Do you remember certain milestones of growing up?

• Riding the school bus
• Getting your ears pierced
  
• Wearing pantyhose
• Driving a car alone
• Preparing your first tax return
• First day at college
  
• First NSF notice from the bank
• Getting married
• Giving birth
• Death of a friend
• Buying real estate
• Getting divorced
• Earning more per year than your age X 1,000
• Death of a parent
• Death of another parent

After a certain age, (for some, this is in your 30s, for some your 60s!) the milestones of growing up seem to be more a matter of changing your perspective and giving yourself permission to change.

• Completely changing the course of your life, by choice
• Ending bad relationships
• Not giving a hoot about what other people think about you
• No longer trying to control everything
• Comfortable with giving Plan B a chance

Interestingly, these later developments of growing up, seem to come in an instant of clarity, not over years. It is like leaping over a bridge. Once you are on that far side, you look back at your old self and give a big sigh of relief. This is, in my opinion, when you know you have truly grown up.

This is the fun part....

I was asked to consult a business on some areas of concern regarding slipping sales, dipping response rates to marketing efforts and an overall slowdown of business. The manager seemed despondent, depressed and frustrated. They have a great product, superior service, yet they were not keeping pace with their plan.

Call me Little Mary Sunshine, the annoying optimist, but..... in my opinion this is when the fun starts. This is where you can tell who LOVES running and marketing a business and who just relies on formulas they learned in a seminar in 1996.

All of the business books you've poured through, the magazine article case studies you've pondered, the blogs you follow, the tips and tricks you've heard along the way when times were good. Now is the time that you get to actually put those golden nuggets of DIY in place and see what works!

If you love business and especially marketing, these are the best of times, when creative business minds produce their finest ideas. Perhaps motivated by fear or necessity, but regardless, you are forced to shake things up a bit. It is easy to get lazy when sales are steadily going up, your employees are enjoying healthy paychecks, and your clients pay their bills on time. So, now is the time to become the clever whipper-snapper of days gone by, when you were still fighting to show off your stuff.

Let me also say that for those of us who sign the BACK of a paycheck, now is also the time to show off your best stuff at work. With layoffs looming, you want to show off your best stuff when times are tough. Present a cost savings idea, dig deeper for new business, show your enthusiasm regardless of the economy.

Bottom line: Your attitude makes all the difference, for you, your co-workers and your own economic future. If you approach these challenges with enthusiasm, passion and the spirit to find the winning combination of efforts, you will not only increase your chances of great success but also gain the self-confidence of having come through it all a winner, no matter what.

A Business Wake

A friend of mine is preparing to dissolve her beloved business. Big sigh. When I heard the news, I knew she must be in the starting stages of business grief. I prepared to contact her in much the same way as I would reach out to a newly widowed friend. What to say? Will she be able to talk about it, or is it too soon?

Fifteen years ago, I closed my family's business, a travel agency. After making the decision, there was much to do: meet with employees, negotiate debts with creditors, sublet the office space for the remainder of the lease, sell our fixed assets, contact our licensing agencies, etc... Among the toughest parts was, without a doubt, letting long-time clients and suppliers know that we had decided to close the doors and why. They had become such great friends over the years.

We were closing the business because of my mother's terminal illness. Because of that, the closing of the business became a metaphor for what was happening in our family. A few months later, when she passed away, many clients and vendors came to her memorial and shared wonderful stories about their fun experiences with the travel agency as much as with my mom. The memorial became a funeral for 2. My mom and her business.

I am a believer in happy endings. Because we hold our businesses so close to our hearts, I have suggested to my friend that she have a business wake. I'll host. We all love her business and will miss it. This would not be a funeral, but more reminiscent of an Irish wake, with a lot of drinking and jolly story-telling. I imagine that these might become commonplace. Perhaps this could be a new business for an enterprising event producing entrepreneur!

When it comes time to close a business, the owner can feel ashamed, and filled with a sense of failure. I say, "Nonsense!". When a venture no longer serves its original purpose, profitable or not, close that sucker down and move on to another path toward your next source of happiness. Far too many of us have held on to a business, a job, or a career that WE have outgrown or that has simply become a drag.

So, make the decision, fulfill your obligations to others, throw a party and move on to brighter days. I'll host.

How Sticky Are You?

Here is what I love about the book, Made To Stick: You will learn how to craft messages than MEAN SOMETHING. Corporate babble is easily forgotten. Touch my heart, make me laugh, give me goosebumps, force me to remember your idea and make me want to share it.

I just dread seeing, hearing, reading ads that include "Our goal is to exceed your expectations". S-N-O-R-E . Meaningless words. If I paid an ad agency to develop a brand message for me and that was what they came up with... well, you can imagine.

This book starts with the example of Subway's Jared, the guy who lost over 100 pounds eating their food everyday. How many years ago did they roll that out? You still remember Jared, you remember that he ate only Subway and he lost a ton of weight. Simple idea, big message, easy to remember and tell to a friend. Sticky!!!!!!! The message sticks.

Who cares if your company has convenient parking, award-winning service, 65 years of experience, serves the entire Midwest? Put that information in a message that SPEAKS to me, now you've got something.

I love this book, love the idea, and can't wait to have you read it. You can get a discount at Horizon Books, just mention the Marigold or Mary in the Morning Book Club, or order it through amazon.com using the icon link provided.
Mary

From the Marigold website, GoMarigold.com:

Marigold and sponsor Bill Marsh Automotive Group are proud to present the Marigold Book Club. Together we'll read and discuss some of the hottest books to develop your career and your business! First up? Made to Stick by Dan Heath and Chip Heath. Why do some ideas thrive while others die? And how do we improve the chances of worthy ideas? In Made to Stick, accomplished educators and idea collectors Chip and Dan Heath tackle head-on these vexing questions.

Join us on 106.7 YOU-FM April 9th from 7am-7:45am on Mary in the Morning for our Book Club launch! Do you have to read the book to be a member of the Club? No; but we hope you will. Membership is free, but you must be registered!

Sign Up for the Marigold Book Club Here!

Read about Made To Stick in TIME Magazine