Monday, May 11, 2009

What is a Chick in Charge? Part 2

As I put forth in my previous post, I consider a Chick in Charge to be a woman who takes personal responsibility for her entire life.

"But that's not fair!" you may feel. "There are other forces in charge of my boat!". Here's what I say to that: Only if you put them there. You can't always be in control of every aspect of your life, of course not. But when you grant that control to other people or institutions, you should do it with what I call Reasoned Grace.

For instance, perhaps you can't put 100% effort into advancing your career right now because you have 3 children who need daily bathing, a husband who you adore making dinner for, and a German Shepard that likes to sit on your feet while you watch Two and a Half Men on Monday nights instead of attending City Commission meetings. The problem is when you start complaining about watching Jane at the office get promoted past you because you are a mom. If being home, really home, after 5:30 is your reward at the end of the day, hooray for you!

If you've made a decision with Reasoned Grace, you accept responsibility for the consequences of YOUR DECISION to have different priorities. A Chick in Charge makes deliberate choices and decisions about her life and doesn't feel the need complain or explain because the only place to go is the bathroom mirror. She gives herself the power to frame AND responsibility for her lot in life.

This is not easy. Women who achieve this have a crystal clear sense of their core values. You lose your confidence when those values become murky. What is really important to you right now? This is why transitions in women's lives are so tough. In one decade, your children are first on your list, a few decades later your aging parents make an appearance at the top. Where did my yoga go????

Your Chick in Charginess is reflected primarily in two ways that you can measure: money and time. Where do you spend your money? Where do you spend your time? If you have a clear sense of priorities, decisons of time and money become so much easier!

Next week we will explore Chicks in Charge of their money...

1 comment:

Nancy Ballinger said...

OOh, what a rich blog. Here are my takeaways:

1. You can have it all, but not at the same time
2. Make your choices consciously, align them to your values, accept responsibility for them and stop comparing and complaining.

Simple, focused and deserving of attention every single day if not frequently throughout the day.

Thanks for the thoughtful writing Mary!