I love making speeches! I am a freak, I know. Like a songwriter who will tell you that the song must be sung, that it is bursting from their very pores, I get the same way with a speech.
But everything has a time and a place. Barbra Streisand would probably not be well received at a Tattoo Festival. In a few months from now I am scheduled to make a keynote speech at a women business owners conference in Detroit. For me, this is something of a homecoming appearance and frankly, I want to knock it out of the ballpark. My old colleagues wonder what the heck happened to Mary after she moved up north? I'm sharing with you my thoughts about preparing for this in hopes that it will help you in how you approach your own communications, be they one-on-one or one-to-one thousand. My second reason is to get some feedback from folks I know and trust who may want to tell me to re-think this.
My experience as a public speaker has taught me:
- Speak from the heart. You can never fool a crowd
- Give your audience information or inspiration that they can use that very day
- Speak for the benefit of your audience not yourself
My heartfelt message these days is to enjoy the place (emotional, physical, financial, etc) that you are in, so as not to overlook the joys that are yours while scrambling to figure out how to be bigger and better than you are right now, right here. Could you find yourself in your sweet spot and not be living the life of a millionaire? Find yourself living where the ranking of your priorities match the energy expended.
A few years ago, when I was scrambling for career and business growth, I had a conversation with a businessman who was new to the area. He wanted to work with local companies to help them expand into new markets. He shared his frustration with me over local folks satisfaction with "enough". He told me that he found himself actually having to convince people (plumbers, insurance agents, small manufacturers, etc...) that they should want to grow. I completely sympathized with the guy! "You're kidding! Grow or die, baby!". They told him they made more money than their parents ever dreamed of, had a nice house, 2 cars in the driveway, went to Florida for a week each winter. Why grow? They would have more work, more worry, and less time to spend enjoying things that really mattered to them. They had enough right now. The poor guy was left speechless.
I feel compelled to share this message because I have spent a great deal of my time in "scramble mode" and I can practically smell the burn of it on others. We are programmed to expand, grow and win.
I suggest that you re-examine your assumptions of your own priorities, your own goals, and then decide if ambition is your driving passion. If it is, go for it! If you adopted in from the ad managers at Proctor & Gamble or More magazine, I say hit the brakes.
Personally, I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she drank from the cup labeled "Drink This". I see things from a very different perspective these days. I am fully committed to do the best at what I do, but not in a bigger, splashier, more recognized way. I love what I am doing right now. Yes, I could make more money somewhere else, but then I would have to give "this" up! I love this. Right now, right here. And that's okay dammit! Maybe next week I'll want to conquer the world. But not right now.
This might sound like a message of giving up your dreams and that is when I get nervous about ending a major address on this note. Keep in mind, I will be speaking to hundreds of women running businesses in a cut throat depressed economic market. I am the first speaker of the day before the conference goers spend the morning at various workshops on business marketing and finance and technology. Is it unrealistic to ask frightened business owners to take a moment to smell the roses, celebrate their accomplishments and maybe (just maybe) accept this time as a season of maintenance and not growth?
Am I creating this message because I want to give it OR because it could be inspirational to the women I'll be speaking to. Am I ignoring the reality of their daily life?
Seriously, I need feedback!
Your very satisfied friend,
Mary Rogers
6 comments:
Dear Mary, I am with you and your message. During this economic time, I remind myself that maintaining IS a goal! Taking time to invest in 'quality of life' creates space where new ideas can present themselves. Being open to this interupts the same old, same old rut that I can find myself in at times.
I think that especially in this economy people need to take a pause, see where they are and where they want to go. Do you want to sell widgets around the entire universe or do you want to make funky widgets for craft shows? I feel that in order to succeed in this economy you need to be true to yourself and your core values as it is what will keep you motivated to do your best.
As women who tend to put on more hats than men (no offense) we need to also honor what we do with our families. Balance is a huge issue! We can be successful working 15 hours a week on business while we also volunteer at our kids school (networking) and order take out. We can also be a huge success when we work 70 hours a week, donate much needed cash to our kids school, have someone clean our house and have our husbands cook for us. The trick is to find what will work for each of us. Oh then spend some time cheering on the people in the bleachers that help us make it all happen :)
Mary,
I think your message is timely, especially since the group is female. I'm not sex stereotyping, but women are pulled in many more directions than men. And I believe we are more interested -- and I mean seriously interested -- in work-life balance. That is, of course, a generalization and doesn't apply to all women in business by any means.
In Northern Michigan many people come for the lifestyle and those of us who stay are here because of the balance it provides. By living here and consulting I have gained something very valuable -- time to do what I want and to do it when I want.
Recently I was leaving the local grocery about 10 or 10:30 in the a.m., walking across the parking lot with fresh foods to turn into lunch. The sun was shining, I could see the bay and the day was full of promise. I realize that I was exactly where I wanted to be and living the life I wanted to live. How many people can say that? It's priceless.
That said, our NM lifestyle is not for everyone. I've seen more than a few "failures to thrive" here -- people for whom the urban vibe and more aggressive business environments are mother's milk.
I think your message is one of encouragement... to urge your audience to take an assessment of what counts most to them and pursue that. It may require maintaining their business now to grow it in the future when times are better. It may require doing some out of the box thinking about creating another income stream. It may require downsizing and giving up unnecessary shopping/acquiring. It may require a complete reassessment.
Whatever it is, you can only inspire them in your speech. The hard work begins when you finish and they have to decide what's next. So I think your close is critical to your success.
I am SO in agreement with what your speech is all about. My Leaders (I'm in Direct Sales) keep telling me that in this economy, now is the time to push harder, strive more, work harder to achieve my goals. But Mary, you have hit the nail on the head. I want to work my business consistantly, but I also want to enjoy my life, my kids, my grandkids, a walk in the park, MY Hostesses and customers, & my very reason for being an independent business owner. And I don't want to feel guilty about it. If I heard you give THAT kind of speech at a convention or a seminar, I would not be disappointed. I would cheer you loudly for for saying out loud what I have been feeling - even if it isn't "Politically correct" in this business! KUDO'S to you Mary for saying what many of us are thinking, and hurray to ME for agreeing with you!
God Bless,
Wendy Stevens
Mary,
great, as usual, a truly UpNorth perspective. Live in the NOW, not the past,not the future. Enjoy the moment and the current challenge, not tomorrow's missed goals nor trials of the past. Grow and Go!!! I don't want to live backwards from today--I only have NOW!!
You'll be a knockout!! If they don't quite get it(your message)that day, it will hit them down the road!! Life is not a formula, it's an adventure!!!
Wishing you the best! Dana Thomas
I (Mary) loved this e-mail from Tracy K.:
Comfortable doesn't mean lazy...
Technology has pushed us to be in scramble mode - scramble mode can cause stress, and stress has all kinds of adverse effects on health.
If ambition is a driving passion - okay. But the real question is "what is your passion?" recognizing YOUR true dreams - not someone else's. (parents, spouses, society's, friends, etc...)
What is success? This can be different for everyone. Paying attention to cues is key,...living in scramble mode, doesn't make success happen sooner, or dreams to come quickly.
When we calm the flurry, and pay attention to life and the cues all around us, we find our sweet spot, we learn to identify what we want, and what gives us passion and pleasure.
And what if it changes?........GREAT! I often wonder if our Parent's generation - the work for 30 years for one company and then get a watch - drank martini's everyday because they lacked passion in their life. They needed to be safe...... Boring?
ie: if I want to find a Petoskey stone in the water- it is my passion to find one - I can run in frantically looking for my prize. only to find out that I have kicked up a bunch of silt, and I have a hard time recognizing which stone is the gem, but if I am observant from the edge of the water, and then when I spot an option, I calmly enter the water without disturbance, I can focus and accomplish finding my prize - with less effort and with less time wasted... I have found my sweet rock gem....meanwhile, you watch from your balcony, painting the waves and wondering what the hell that woman is doing ankle deep in water with her ass up in the air We both have found our passion - they are different - and that is Fabulous!!
They will love you - and you will have a blast. :D
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