Monday, October 19, 2009

Time for Women? Time for Men & Families.

TIME magazine's cover story this week: The State of the American Woman. You can imagine the little dance I did from my mailbox to my reading chair when it arrived! Pages and pages of statistics comparing the status and positions of men vs. women/women of 1971 vs. 2009/working vs. stay-at-home moms/ moms vs. dads, etc.., awaiting my eager eyes and commentary.

There is WAY too much to share here, but The State of the American Woman is... drumroll, please...... much improved. I strongly urge you to pick up the issue.

Here is what I found interesting: Among the most highly featured survey results are the following:
  • Forty years ago, one-third of all workers were women; now nearly half are. 76% of adults view this as positive for society.
  • Forty years ago, most children grew up with a stay-at-home parent; now only about 30% do. 65% of adults view this as negative for society.
And here lies the problem. We're getting the equality that we wanted (or at least we're a heck of a lot closer to it), but are unhappy with the results. Working mothers are ambushed by guilt and it is not solely of their own making as is bantered about. Forty years later, we don't think that we know how to raise our kids, have healthy happy children, sustain strong marriages and have financially and personally fulfilling careers.

We all race around looking for balance. Is it there at your part-time job?...is it there at PTO?, it is at a yoga class on your lunch break?, is your husband doing the dishes?

As a society, we haven't figured it out yet. Here is my hope. To do my personal best and set an example for other women. Just as my mother went to work after I was "grown", she gave me the role model of a female in the work world. Our dads pretty much never had to change. Today, the job of our generation is to be the role models of what it is to be working mothers and working fathers.

As hard as the struggle for equality for women has been, I truly believe the next struggle will belong to men and families as a whole. Where do men figure into this? They love their kids just as much, they pull more of their weight with household chores than their dads did, they respect mothers' needs for financial security and career satisfaction, but what is their role now? How do we help families adjust to our equality?

TIME Magazine, we need a survey!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

sad to think 'our dads never had to change' they could use a change! I'm not so sure that the job of our generation is to be role models for working moms and dads - would prefer to seeing models of living a life of balance.

Anonymous said...

The timing for this topic is amazing to me. Last night I finally arrived home from my daughter's swim meet at 10:30pm. (I drive her to school every morning at 7:15am and then go to work.) My husband had been home for at least 2+ hours having left the meet early to go home and walk the dog. He never thought to take care of the dishes or help with laundry and doesn't understand why I'm so stressed to arrive home to a messy house and then I can't sleep with so much left to do in the house. Why am I not ready for romance when I enter the house? No my man does not contribute to the housework enough at all. Thanks for letting me vent.
GM