Marigold Women Talking

What do they say when you walk out the door?

2010-07-26T15:33:00.002-04:00

Aren't we all experts on our friends lives? We know what their "issues" are, how much their "baggage" weighs, and we are also blessed with the solutions to all of their problems. If only we had the guts to tell them.

In an interview with Dr. Phil, he said that he had left private practice because of his frustration with clients that wanted to stay clients, even after he had given them clear advice on how to solve their problems. They didn't really want to bring and end to their woes, just talk about them. Every week. For 50 minutes. With him.

What about you? Would you want to put an end to your business, career or personal troubles if offered a solid solution?

Several years ago, I hit a point in my life where nothing seemed to be working. My career and family life were out of balance, I didn't feel very well, my business was growing but not in ways I expected or was prepared for. I kept tweaking the formula of my attention and nothing seemed to work. I did something that sounds simple, but it simply wasn't done.

I surveyed the people in my life that spent the most time with me: friends, family, co-workers, employees and individually asked them this: Imagine that you are gathered with my circle of friends. I come in all cranky about my life, and then leave the room. What would you all agree on that I needed to change or do with my life. I asked them to be blunt.

I did this with 4 or 5 people. They all had the exact same answer. Some of these people had never met each other, but they all knew me. Guess what? I did what they suggested and it worked. It took a long time for me to go through the process, but I did it and I am 100% happier and healthier.

Does your life seem a wee bit out of whack? Try it. Ask them "What do people say about me when I walk out the door?" It usually starts with something like "If she could just stop going back to that man!" or "Why doesn't she just tell her mother she can't send her anymore money?" or "Stop writing prisoners!".

If all of your peeps say that you should start a business, do it! If they all say you should quit that job, maybe their perspective gives them something you should listen to. You are surrounded by advisors, make an appointment!

Imagine! The Joy of Backward Thinking!

2010-07-19T13:29:00.000-04:00

Imagine that it is the year 2015 and you are in a courtroom. You are well dressed but your feet hurt. You are there to finalize matters with creditors at your bankruptcy hearing. Huh?!? How did THAT happen?

Imagine that it is the year 2020 and you are in a courtroom. You are well dressed but your feet hurt. You are there for the final dissolution of your marriage. Huh?! How the heck did THAT happen?

Take a few moments to consider what events most likely happened in your near future as the building blocks to the disastrous outcomes above. What could you have done to prevent these things? What is well within your control that you maybe neglect or get too busy for that may prevent such dreadful outcomes.

For many of us, looking backward is easier than looking forward. I suggest you use this exercise to look back from your future. This is a great way to rethink your own behavior before it leads to disaster. The beautiful thing about this backward/forward vision is that you can utilize it to prevent failures and also to get you closer to your desired goals.

Imagine that it is the year 2016 and your are writing the tuition check to your kid's college of choice for a full year. Today, you have enough in the college savings account to pay for a tank of gas. Visualize how you get there in just 6 years time. You can still do this, you have 6 years!!!!

Imagine the day you retire from the career you love. Visualize the hobbies and travel that can become your daily life. Now is the time to plan that future.

Companies routinely use this backward thinking in their strategic planning for future growth. See the goal and work backward, planning the action steps, resources needed, etc... to get them there.

The next time somebody accuses you of backwards thinking, say "Why yes, thank you!".

Mary Rogers

Connecting the Dots

2010-07-12T20:43:00.000-04:00

Thanks to all who commented on my July 5th blog about finding my sweet spot (that whole career/family/self balance point) and how I could deliver the message of a scaled back picture of success in a speech to Detroit women business owners in a few months. What insightful readers and writers this blog has! Please go back and read the comments, it will be very worth your time.

One of my concerns about this speech is that these business owners are up against a monster of a bad economy. My Little Mary Sunshine message of "Hey, maybe where you are RIGHT NOW is just fine" felt a bit uncomfortable for me.

Bill Marsh Jr, of Bill Marsh Auto Group read my blog and was good enough to send me a speech given by executive coach and speaker Connie Podesta of Texas. I took away many ideas from Connie's remarks. One that I thought most worth sharing is this: We rarely question our happiness when all is going well: customers are beating a path to our door, employees are happy and productive, vendors are meeting your demands, etc... Rather, it is when sales have dumped, you can't meet payroll, and vendors have turned into creditors that unless you really love what you are doing and have a clear priority to succeed at it, work just sucks.

When I started doing the Mary in the Morning Show, the general manager of the station told me that the first day I found myself not wanting to get out of bed at 4AM would be the day to hand in my resignation. It messes up your family life and plain old hurts too much to wake up that early if you aren't excited to get to work. After 3 years, I completely understand what he was telling me. There is no way that I would sacrifice normal life for this job if it was anything less than the most fun job imaginable.

So, the message here is: If in this rotten economy you have lost the love for your business, career or job, you probably never really loved it all that much. Time to reevaluate what makes you happy, good times or bad, and get moving in that direction.

Grow or die... or not?

2010-07-05T21:12:00.001-04:00

I love making speeches! I am a freak, I know. Like a songwriter who will tell you that the song must be sung, that it is bursting from their very pores, I get the same way with a speech.

But everything has a time and a place. Barbra Streisand would probably not be well received at a Tattoo Festival. In a few months from now I am scheduled to make a keynote speech at a women business owners conference in Detroit. For me, this is something of a homecoming appearance and frankly, I want to knock it out of the ballpark. My old colleagues wonder what the heck happened to Mary after she moved up north? I'm sharing with you my thoughts about preparing for this in hopes that it will help you in how you approach your own communications, be they one-on-one or one-to-one thousand. My second reason is to get some feedback from folks I know and trust who may want to tell me to re-think this.

My experience as a public speaker has taught me:

Speak from the heart. You can never fool a crowd
Give your audience information or inspiration that they can use that very day
Speak for the benefit of your audience not yourself

My heartfelt message these days is to enjoy the place (emotional, physical, financial, etc) that you are in, so as not to overlook the joys that are yours while scrambling to figure out how to be bigger and better than you are right now, right here. Could you find yourself in your sweet spot and not be living the life of a millionaire? Find yourself living where the ranking of your priorities match the energy expended.

A few years ago, when I was scrambling for career and business growth, I had a conversation with a businessman who was new to the area. He wanted to work with local companies to help them expand into new markets. He shared his frustration with me over local folks satisfaction with "enough". He told me that he found himself actually having to convince people (plumbers, insurance agents, small manufacturers, etc...) that they should want to grow. I completely sympathized with the guy! "You're kidding! Grow or die, baby!". They told him they made more money than their parents ever dreamed of, had a nice house, 2 cars in the driveway, went to Florida for a week each winter. Why grow? They would have more work, more worry, and less time to spend enjoying things that really mattered to them. They had enough right now. The poor guy was left speechless.

I feel compelled to share this message because I have spent a great deal of my time in "scramble mode" and I can practically smell the burn of it on others. We are programmed to expand, grow and win.

I suggest that you re-examine your assumptions of your own priorities, your own goals, and then decide if ambition is your driving passion. If it is, go for it! If you adopted in from the ad managers at Proctor & Gamble or More magazine, I say hit the brakes.

Personally, I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she drank from the cup labeled "Drink This". I see things from a very different perspective these days. I am fully committed to do the best at what I do, but not in a bigger, splashier, more recognized way. I love what I am doing right now. Yes, I could make more money somewhere else, but then I would have to give "this" up! I love this. Right now, right here. And that's okay dammit! Maybe next week I'll want to conquer the world. But not right now.

This might sound like a message of giving up your dreams and that is when I get nervous about ending a major address on this note. Keep in mind, I will be speaking to hundreds of women running businesses in a cut throat depressed economic market. I am the first speaker of the day before the conference goers spend the morning at various workshops on business marketing and finance and technology. Is it unrealistic to ask frightened business owners to take a moment to smell the roses, celebrate their accomplishments and maybe (just maybe) accept this time as a season of maintenance and not growth?

Am I creating this message because I want to give it OR because it could be inspirational to the women I'll be speaking to. Am I ignoring the reality of their daily life?

Seriously, I need feedback!

Your very satisfied friend,

Mary Rogers

Would you like fries with that?

2010-06-28T13:41:00.000-04:00

No matter what type of business you are in, the old truism stands: Nothing happens until someone sells something. You may be the best at what you do, but if you avoid selling, you are dead in the water. If prospecting isn't your idea of fun, and let's face it, who among us enjoys cold calling, maybe there is another way to boost your selling.

Before you get a cold call panic attack, let's maximize each sale that comes in the door now. Fast food companies are the ultimate marketers of selling more than the customer plans to buy. "Would you like fries with that?" or, " Would you like to Super Size that for just a dollar more?" Why not apply the same philosophy to how you service your current clients?

Keep them in the Family

Do you have related products or services to your core business? Begin today to offer them with every sale! Consider packaging or bundling products and services with different names (Silver, Gold, Platinum). Example: Siding installers can offer power washing. Call it what you want but offer an add-on of 3 annual power washings and free inspections.

Get a Commitment

Do your customers need your services repeatedly? Example: Hair stylists... Offer an annual hair care package of a cut every 8 weeks, color every 16 weeks, nail service and a $50 retail credit for products. Discount it for advance purchase or throw in a labor only expense such as unlimited brow waxing.

There's a place down the road...

Could you expand your line of products or services. Here's an exercise: What type of referrals do your salespeople make most often to another business. Why pass revenue to someone else's cash register. If you are a window cleaning service, think about adding screen repair. If you are a travel agent, consider a house or pet sitting service.

It's that time of year

Check in with customers as they near the anniversary date of their last purchase. Your business may be seasonal, or the customer always calls you in October because that is when their birthday reminds them of your service, in any case, take advantage of the opportunity to call and check in. Even if it is just to "see how things are". It is a chance to tell them about new offerings that may be of interest.

Your current clients are the easiest path to larger revenues. Before you embark on a prospecting campaign, be certain that all staff with customer contact are looking for sales potential of current buyers and that they have a menu of offerings.

Good luck and get selling!,
Mary

Men in bras

2010-06-22T14:00:00.000-04:00

In 1986, I was charged with establishing The Women's Business Council of a local chamber of commerce. As the staff member leading a group of member volunteers, it was my role to implement the member's vision of the Board of Directors directive to serve the needs of women in the business community. I was filled with a passion for celebrating modern empowered women. I came to my first meeting with the group armed with a folder full of workshop and speaker ideas on accessing capital, establishing gender-neutral employee policies, sexual harassment awareness programs, etc... All designed to provide cutting edge information and strategies to liberate us from the oppression of the patriarchal business culture. The group wanted to host a fashion show. I wanted to cry.

"No!" I railed. I probably said something like "Over my dead body", but I can't be sure, it is a blur, a big pink blur. But I am sure that I tried something along the lines of..."Ladies, we have been given an opportunity to be taken seriously, to rise above the ranks of the secretarial pool, we must provide programming that not only serves women but sends a message to the entire community that women in business must to be taken SERIOUSLY!!!!! They stared at me. "Oh".

Keep in mind that my manila folder full of ideas was the ONLY accessory to my plain blue suit with sensible flat-heeled shoes and understated (if even existent) jewelry. We were dressing like men so that we would be treated like men. Those of us at the helm of the womens' business movement were denying our every feminine quality.

Twenty-five years later, I would host a fashion show without a second thought. In fact, Mary in the Morning and Marigold are the proud sponsors of the National Cherry Festival's Royal Pageant of Fashion . Whodathunkit? So what's changed? We can now be WOMEN instead of men in bras.

The worlds of feminism and fashion have always clashed. When I think of an over-the-top hard-core feminist I see a hairy arm-pitted woman in no make up with stringy, if not un-brushed hair. She's not prettying herself up for a man! Well, the message is she's not prettying up for ANYBODY!

Nowadays, I'm perfectly comfortable expressing myself through fashion and beauty as a complement to what I have to contribute to a conversation. I see a fashion show as an opportunity to preview what is available in stores to help save me precious time when I need or want a new outfit. I am definitely not a fashion plate and consider myself to be fashion-challenged, so for me, a fashion show is like spell check, preventing me from making gaffes that would be potentially embarrassing to "Brand Mary".

I hope to see you at The Royal Pageant of Fashion!

Change Your Plans for Thursday!

2010-06-15T15:09:00.001-04:00

Whatever your plans may be for Thursday morning, you will want to change them. At 7:30AM you want to be by a radio, tuned in to my conversation with Donna. Donna? Yes, Donna. She's going to say some things that may shock you, may make you uncomfortable, but I guarantee that you will be talking about her for the rest of the day.

Donna Estes Antebi has written a book, The Real Secrets Women Only Whisper, The 21st Century Woman's Guide to Success and Survival - including dirty tricks every woman needs to know!

The book is not being released until this fall, but I have an advance copy. Now, keep in mind that I get a pile of books each and every week from publishers and publicists wanting to get their author on Mary in the Morning. I've become very discerning in deciding who I feels has something new, relevant and original to lend to my show. Since first picking up this book about a month ago, I've thought about it every single day. I've given it to friends to read and review, and despite her Keep This Book Away From Men warning on the cover, I've given it to men and listened to their ideas as well.. Everyone who reads it is somewhat shocked, somewhat jarred, but all are impacted.

Last week I caught up with Donna by phone at her office in Los Angeles. We spoke for an hour or so about our adult sons and their choices of women, WEEDS (her term for younger women stealing married men and destroying families), the swinging pendulum and backlash of feminism on the role of men. It was fascinating conversation.

She'll tell you to just stop being a bitch to your husband, why to sign a pre-nup, why not to sleep with men you wouldn't marry, how to be a Cleo instead of a Cougar,why it's okay for your man to dress badly, and why you will never be Oprah.

I will interview her on Wednesday afternoon, it will air on Thursday at 7:30am. We do have a few copies to give away to listeners, but don't expect me to give up mine!

What Mary thinks of Dr. Laura

2010-06-07T19:54:00.001-04:00

Last month YOU-FM, the home of Mary in in the Morning, switched to an all talk format. Will it be a ratings coup? A bomb? It will be a couple years before we know for sure, but the line-up of shows has certainly gotten some tongues wagging. I'm thoroughly enjoying the comments I'm getting from listeners.

The reaction so far has been completely random from love to hate, very little middle ground here. The prime time line-up includes the Queen of the Left, Stephanie Miller who airs immediately after Mary in the Morning; Dave Ramsey the Live Debt Free guru who brings Jesus into the conversation with callers quite comfortably; the acerbic Dr. Laura is there for your afternoon drive, followed by rightie-pants Jerry Doyle.

When I'm out and about I'm asking people their thoughts on the line-up, 90 percent of the time the conversation leads to: "Mary, what do YOU think of Dr. Laura?" This is a very polarizing question, or at least I think it is meant to be. If you say they you like Dr. Laura, people can fit you into a box full of assumptions (pro-life, anti-gay, women should stay home with the kids, blah, blah, blah) So here you have it: I love Dr. Laura for being Dr. Laura. I don't agree with many of her positions on how we humans run our lives, but I do respect and cheer for her decision to not be politically correct.

This woman has balls. Dr. Laura filters her callers questions through a simple filter of right and wrong, black or white, her way the highway. She doesn't have the inclination or interest or time to sugar coat it. She gives her opinion. And that is why people continue to call and take the abuse. She makes the drama of our lives so simple. Do this, goodbye, Next caller....

Even when I'm disagreeing with her, calling her names, rolling my eyes at the radio, I am completely and thoroughly enjoying myself. I try to catch at least part of her show every day. We seem at times to be a nation of very stupid people, and Dr. Laura is one of the only brave voices out their.

Most importantly, Dr. Laura has been on the scene long enough that every caller to her show should know what to expect. She is so predictable that she couldn't possibly be accused of ambushing anybody. Simplistic? Yes. Heartless? Perhaps. Ambivalent? Never!

Tune in to Dr. Laura daily 3-6PM and let me know your thoughts on her show.

Mary

Trash Talk Recycling

2010-05-31T17:29:00.000-04:00

Would you tell Barb what Jill said about her if you were certain that Barb was going to confront Jill using you as her source of information? Confused? Let's make it a story problem.

You and Barb have been close friends for years, you support each other through thick and thin, working on community projects together, helping with each others garage sales, you are known for being best friends. Jill, an acquaintance of both of yours tells you that she thinks Barb's decision to keep chairing the Festival of Bird Baths is ridiculously but predictably selfish and that it's time Barb passed the torch to another member of the Babes for Bird Baths Association. She has plenty more to say about your friend Barb, but realizes she's getting a chilly reception and clams up.

All too often, we pass this sort of trash talk along to the "trashed", but forbid them from telling the "Jills" of the world who spilled the beans. This leaves Barb insulted and powerless (probably the worst one-two combo in the world). Here's my view of this: If you aren't completely comfortable being quoted on your reporting of trash talk, keep it to yourself. Or better yet, tell the Jill to take a hike. "You are talking about my friend and I don't like it".

It seems to me, when we pass along an insult in the spirit of "I thought you should know....", but haven't...

had the guts to confront the trash talker yourself and defended your friend; and
given your friend your permission to cite you the source

...you leave her in the position to doubt YOUR friendship. I sure would.

This happened to a good friend of mine recently and as she told me the details, my very first question was: Why in the world did she tell you this? And she swore you to secrecy, that you could never mention it? Huh? Who is the queen of mean here?

If this sounds like high school junk, I agree. As we get older and wiser(?), the stakes get higher with careers and families in the balance. Let's all stand up for each other when we hear this junk, and to the betrayed: the favor of not retelling the story.

Lady Campers!

2010-05-25T15:58:00.003-04:00

Is it always such a good idea to get out of your comfort zone? When you get that "uncomfortable" feeling, isn't that a message to re-evaluate your circumstances and plan the exit strategy? Or does it mean that you are growing? Growing is supposed to be good for you I hear.

Here's the story: My family wants to go camping. Yes, camping. Outside. In the woods. I've gotten this far in life with "Just Say No". Camping just isn't my thing, and yes I say that for all the girlie reasons that you would expect. I'm not proud.

I recently made the mistake of adding a caveat to the whole camping issue: OK, I will go, IF: We go with another family of veteran-campers who have kids and all the equipment to make it something I ATTEND not CREATE. I don't know how to camp. I'm certain that other women like myself have been initiated into camping and have figured out all the tricks to make it fun for kids and grown-up sorts.

Just like when you negotiate with God and tell him you'll never eat chocolate again if he could just make that police officer pass you on the highway and pull over the the car ahead of you, my wish has been granted and just such a family has invited us to go into the woods with them. In fact, two families have come forward. They have the equipment. My family looks at me with raised eyebrows and they smirk at me. I am cornered. I want my chocolate back.

So lady campers... send me your secret tricks to make camping a magical family experience...please!

Is there anything new to say about Work/Family Balance?

2010-05-17T14:35:00.000-04:00

The very worst guest on Mary in the Morning is the "expert" that points out a very serious issue and then spends the next 15 minutes of valuable airtime saying exactly that, over and over and over. This issue is SOO important. No innovative solution, no 3 step plan to make things better. Just a reiteration of why the topic is so important and even more annoyingly, how important it is that you resolve this issue... or else here's the bad news: (fill in the blank). BUT NO ANSWERS WE CAN USE.

Whenever I hear from a publicist about an author who has tackled the Work vs. Family Balance issue, I ask to see the book before agreeing to the booking. I have yet to read anything new on the topic. There are some guiding principles that we are all familiar with:

Learn to say no
Delegate at home and work
Demand support for your career from family members
Work for a company that supports family-friendly policies
Approach your career phases as seasons, relating to the demands of your family over a period of time

Beyond these basics, I have yet to hear anything ground-breaking or even interesting on the topic. I just crave my Calgon Take Me Away moment when I consider the issue. I just read an e-mail from a listener who would like more conversation on the Mary in the Morning show about family/work balance. She is hopeful that other listeners will have great ideas that they could share with each other. Have I become cynical and skeptical? I predict a morning of dead air.

This is a challenge for every woman I know and I have come to believe that there exists a unique approach for every woman. No one-size-fits-all answer. Some of us get it and some of us spend way too much of our time feeling inadequate and a disappointment to others.

Our mothers blazed the trail for us, gaining entry to many career fields that were closed to us. They told us we could be anything we wanted and we did it! But we haven't figured out how our families are going function if we aren't there. Carol the Corporate Wonder thinks that her 11 year-old daughter will be so proud of Mom for being the first woman in her company to be promoted to Regional Manager, but in reality, she'd prefer you be home after school to help make banners for swim team. Women go around and around in their minds, trying to remember what is really important and what is not. How much are they willing to sacrifice for their families, how much for their careers? Would your husband's give up your $45,000 salary in exchange for a more relaxed life partner?

Do you have ideas to share? Let's start the conversation here and see where it goes...

Rest and Win!

2010-05-02T09:54:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago (post 9/11) the trend was Nesting. In February, I was remarking to my geeky marketing friends that I believed that an upcoming marketing trend would be Resting. My geeky friends scowled at me, thinking I had lost my trend-spotting touch. After all, our culture prizes the go-go-go lifestyle accessorized with speedy technology pushing us to heights of frenzied productivity and madness.

I held firm. More and more research is showing that without REST, we diminish the returns from our efforts, both cerebral and physical.. Think about your weekends and vacations, restful? I'm not asking are they fun. Are they Restful? Do your body and mind ever, ever, ever get a chance to catch up. Just relax. Do you find yourself creating to-do lists while getting a massage, having sex, trying to fall asleep. Perhaps, you have forgotten how to... rest.

I had put my Rest Marketing Trend on the upper shelf, out of my reach with a wait and see attitude, until this conversation took place:

Mary: Thank you doctor for taking my call. I'm wondering what I can do to speed up my recovery from surgery?

Doctor: Rest.

Mary: Yes, I understand, but what else? Supplements? Pharmaceuticals? CDs or tapes I can download to my iPod? Special exercises? A class? Yeah, an expensive Get Better Faster class? I'd like to sign up for that right away!!!

Doctor: Rest and time are the only two things you need. And maybe more sleep.

Mary: Tell me, please, that you are kidding.

Doctor: Mary, all you need is rest.

Now not every one needs to recover from surgery, but I think we are all going to start getting the message from health and mental wellness folks that what we need, in order to be more of whatever we are trying to be, is, in fact, rest.

I predict that:

You will see products launching to help us get better rest, like Zeo, your personal sleep coach.
You will learn strategies from the sports world about resting for winning.
You will begin to hear more about the impact of fatigue on your body and mind.

So my message is twofold: 1) get more rest; and, 2) if you are a marketer, begin to think of how you can bring a promise of rest to your customers and clients.

Love and Business

2010-04-19T10:33:00.000-04:00

As women will do, I was chatting with a friend about well, yes, relationships. We were talking about people marrying up or down. My friend recalled a conversation she had with her bright, successful niece about her engagement to a man that was quite frankly a total loser. The bride-to-be beamed when she spoke of how her loser fiancé made her feel special and loved like never before. The wise aunt asked her “Tell me what you love about him?” Again the bride rallied on about his understanding of her personality, his patience with her, how he adores and accepts everything about her. She had never felt so confident about herself in a relationship or even in general. She owed it all to him. Asked again, “But really, what do you love about HIM?” The young woman cocked her head and said “I don’t get what you mean?” Yikes. Fast-forward three years, and predictably the niece had taken her now self-confident self on the road and left the loser, telling her friends that she realized she never really loved him. Double yikes. Aunt: 2 points!

So what does this have to do with business? Plenty. The employer/employee relationship is very similar to a marriage. If an employee judges their marriage with your company only by what they get from the relationship, it won’t last. However if an employee loves being a part of the company, feels pride in how the company operates, can point to specific examples of the company doing the right thing, acting with integrity and charity in the community, respecting all employees, and making smart decisions, the employee will stay with you through thick and thin.

These are the businesses that when a company-wide pay cut is needed, employees don’t gripe or curse; they work harder to save the company they love. How do you know which type of company you are?

Ask yourself:
Do departing employees typically leave for higher paying companies?
Are company parties, special occasions poorly attended?
Employees would prefer to not wear logo attire?
There are many long time employees?

Your answers should give you some insight into how lovable your company is. Surprisingly it has very little to do with compensation and more to do with integrity, smart management and caring about your staff.

My advice: People need to know that they a part of something bigger and better than themselves. Be a good company and communicate the how and why to your employees and your community. Make employees feel proud of their association with your company.

If you work for a company you love, tell us why. Maybe an employer will learn something.

Mary

We Make "Forever Families", Guest Blogger Jim Scherrer, CEO Child and Family Services

2010-04-13T10:17:00.000-04:00

I’m honored to be Mary’s guest blogger this week…. Glad she is home in the “Rogers Spa,” and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Maybe if I do a good job, she will promote me to guest hosting the show someday!

We at Child and Family Services are fortunate to have Mary’s commitment, expertise, not to mention sense of humor on our Board of Directors, as well as Marigold’s and Mary in the Morning’s partnership on our 9th Annual Festival of Tables, set for Friday and Saturday, May 14 and 15, 2010, at The Hagerty Center.

The Festival of Tables celebrates good food, good company, and the art of entertaining at home. It includes dozens of exquisitely designed dining tables—all to inspire but some to be taken home with lucky raffle winners! You will also have an opportunity to win one of five fantasy raffle packages such as “”Room Re-Do” or “A Year of Fine Dining,” each with a value of at least $2,000! And the Festival of Tables will host one of the best silent auctions you’ll see anywhere. Back this year for the Friday Night Gala will be the popular “(Not) Just for Men” Tent, with all sorts of great fun for the fellas, and those who love them. And Saturday will be the traditional Ladies’ Luncheon with all the fun, friendship, and creativity you’ve come to expect. Visit www.festivaloftables.org for all the details.

The Festival of Tables is a great event for a great cause—that cause being our foster care, adoption, counseling, and advocacy programs for children and families throughout Northwestern Michigan. We’ve been at this work since 1937—quite a long, home-grown history.

As I thought about what to write about here, one of our staff members perceptively noted that most often we celebrate the adoptions that take place at Child and Family Services, the creation of new “forever families.” We don’t give as much time or attention to those biological families whose children are placed in foster care because they have not been able to keep home safe. We forget that foster care is a means to an end, that the reunification of families is its main goal. And we have been seeing enough reunifications of families that it seemed, in this spring season, worthy of celebration. I’d like to tell you a couple of stories that illustrate this success.

“Nicole” is a single mom of three children, Adam, 5 years old, Sierra, 3, and the 18 month-old boy, Andrew. Nicole had become pregnant with Adam as a junior in high school, and now at the age of 24 she looked 10 years older, probably mostly due to the alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine she abused. She was living with a man who was not the father of her children and who was physically abusive toward her and them. As a result of his traumatized family life her older son had severe anger and anxiety issues.

The children were placed in foster care when it became clear that Nicole was about to become homeless. The foster family with whom the children were placed were very seasoned, having been foster parents for more than 15 years. Dave and Karen spent a good deal of time with Nicole, talking with her about effective parenting techniques and using love and reasoning to deal with behaviors. She began to say things like “I cannot accept the words you are using” to Adam when he cursed at her, or used loving touch, held him close and stroked his hair and back when he threw tantrums. At the same time, Nicole made the personal decision to fight to get her children back. She took advantage of the community resources available to her to get off drugs and alcohol. She kept up her appointments, left her abusive companion, and found temporary shelter for herself while she looked for a home. In short, she did what the court required of her. At her three-month court review, she had met all her goals. At her 6-month review, her workers were so impressed with her that they recommended unsupervised visits. It has been nearly a year since Nicole’s children were in foster care, and while we don’t always know exactly what happens after children leave us, I’d guess the family is probably still doing pretty well.

A trend in the past year or two is that of relative placements—licensing grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other kin to foster children within an extended family. This process helps maintain family ties and builds on family strengths in the best interests of the children. After a young mom died of an accidental drug overdose, her husband was so distraught he was unable to adequately care for their children James, 15, Jesse, 12, and Joshua, 9. He began drinking heavily and lost his job after several warnings about tardiness and other issues. His late wife’s parents, as grief-stricken as they too were, were up to the task of caring for their grandchildren while their son-in-law worked to confront and overcome these terrible life challenges. They became licensed foster parents and the children lived with them for nearly a year while dad got the counseling and support he needed to parent well again.

It is this work that your support of the Festival of Tables helps make possible. Not only will you be lending a hand to children and families as they heal and grow, you will have a blast. We promise! Buy your tickets at www.festivaloftables.com. For more about Child and Family Services visit www.cfsnwmi.org.

Thanks, Mary, for giving me this forum to share a little bit about Child and Family Services with your readers and fans!

Jim Scherrer, M.A.

CEO Child and Family Services

3785 Veterans Drive

Traverse City, MI 49684

231.946.8975

jscherrer@cfsmail.org

Your Mary in the Morning Internship Experience

2010-04-06T09:58:00.002-04:00

What do you do when you need more staff and the budget master says "No!". You hire interns!!! If you need college credit, or you are "available for new opportunities", this may be just the way to spend your summer, gaining valuable work experience, references and contacts. You do not need to be interested in a radio career to benefit from the Mary in the Morning Internship Experience. You will be using skills in marketing, research, social media, promotion, entertainment and more. You will also have more fun than any intern deserves, but we can't help that!

Join the Mary in the Morning Show as an unpaid intern.
The Official Mary in the Morning Internship Experience
Spring/Summer 2010

Title: Mary in the Morning Intern

Location: Traverse City, MI

Job Description: Intern will support Host and Producer of Mary in the Morning. We are currently offering a unique and exciting internship with Northern Broadcast, including 1067YOU-FM, Marigold and Mary in the Morning.

Approx 25-30 hours per week with some flexibility.

Roles and Responsibilities: Intern will assist in day-to-day activities of creating the Mary in the Morning show with heavy emphasis on show prep including guest/topic research, developing local contacts, and social media. The vast majority of your duties will be hands on, seat of your pants Mary in the Morning show creation providing support for all behind-the-scenes elements including promotions and programming. During the live show, you will be greeting show guests, making them comfortable, assisting chefs with their gear, getting coffee, pulling audio from internet sources, and generally working in fabulously orchestrated chaos.Yes, you may find yourself ON-THE-AIR, but your primary role will be behind the scenes.

Requirements:

• Must be computer literate and internet savvy

• Internships are available to non-students looking for work experience

• First consideration is given to college students seeking an academic internship for receiving academic credit - it is the applicant's responsibility to set up the internship with the school

• You must be 18 years of age or older

• We specialize in lifestyle issues of women age 30-55. Interns must relate to this market segment

• Must be available in-studio 6AM to 9AM Mon-Fri. for 90 day internship. Interns are invited to, but not required to work off-site events.

How to get this position:

Send an e-mail to Mary@GoMarigold.com including a message of WHY you want to join our team, what you bring to the table and when you can start. Also include a link to a you tube video or article that you think would make a great topic for a segment of the show. Include your resume and contact info!

Which "Jane" are you?

2010-03-30T15:26:00.000-04:00

Last week, I spent time interviewing Michele Dekinder Smith, author of See Jane Succeed: Five Types of Female Entrepreneurs Reveal What it Takes to Win in Business and in Life.She contends that female entrepreneurs usually fall into one of 5 types of "Janes". After interviewing over 3,000 of them, she should know.

You can take her assessment at www.janeoutofthebox.com to find out what type of Jane you are. After talking with her, I think she has nailed down the profiles very well. It's worth your time to check out the site and the book. For each of the five "Janes" there are action plans to overcome the unique obstacles to your success. You may find that you are a Merry Jane, a Go Jane Go, a Jane Dough or perhaps, like me, an Accidental Jane.

When I launched Marigold Women in Business in 2004, my end goal was to produce 6 luncheons for women in business, assist a handful of local businesses in reaching that market and replace my very modest income from a part-time position at the Chamber of Commerce.I had achieved that goal within 2 months of conceiving the idea. That is when I accidentally became the force behind a much larger enterprise. The tail started to wag the dog, the horse was out of the barn before I hitched my wagon to it, you know all of the analogies.

Accidental Janes find themselves running a business that demands more of them than they expected or in some cases, more than they desired. It may sound like a good problem, but requires a re-focusing of her priorities and capabilities.

Many laid off workers are taking on contract work, or freelancing to keep the wolves away from the door. One day she realizes that she has no time to job hunt because she is to busy working. "Wait," she says, "how did that happen?" That's an Accidental Jane.

What type of Jane are you? Click here to find out

The Fair Factor of a Family Business

2010-03-23T16:15:00.000-04:00

I've bumped into one topic several times in the past few days and figure that somebody who follows this blog will benefit. "That's not fair", we all say this as kids when a sibling got some thing or privilege that we did not. Where was the equality????? As parents we do try to be fair with our kids and, for the most part, kids expect that their parents will do right by them. Hence the outrage when they experience a violation of the code.

Fast forward to real life where guess what? Life's not always fair, especially in the work place. Is that bad? Can we still cry "That's not fair!" Nowhere does this issue of fairness become a convoluded contest of contestents and judges of equality over performance than in a family owned business. A very wise working partner in a family business pointed out to me that trouble erupts when you apply the same principles of family life to a business culture. It just doesn't work. Compensation and promotion must be based on performance not the membership card to the gene pool.

Not easy to implement when you have siblings or cousins (of any age) working in the business. Just because you own equal equity does not mean equal compensation.

What to do? Three principles to guide family member/owner income from the family business:

Family members should share equally in business equity, especially if inherited from parents. Any draws on equity should be handled following strictly agreed to policies that are consistently applied to all family member owners.
Compensation (salaries, commissions, bonuses, etc...) for family and non-family should be based on the market value of the employee within your region's economy and circumstances. Inflated salaries for family members will have non-family employees stormin' for the door.
Family members not employed by the business should never receive benefits of employment.

These principles will serve you well in times of "That's not fair!". They will also give non-family member employees a sense of fairness. It doesn't matter if you are 8 or 48, we all want to be treated fairly, if not equally.

The Final Period

2010-03-15T15:19:00.000-04:00

So, what does THE FINAL PERIOD mean to you:

Noun 1. final period - the final division into which the play of a game is divided
division, section, part - one of the portions into which something is regarded as divided and which together constitute a whole; period of play, playing period, play - (in games or plays or other performances) the time during which play proceeds; "rain stopped play in the 4th inning"
Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

My final period, is, well, exactly that, my last period. I'm having a hysterectomy in a few weeks and my next period will be my last. Believe me when I say that I am so past baby making this is not going to change any family building plans I may have had. As pleased, thrilled, excited as I am to have this monthly ritual with me, I do feel that it is a milestone worth noting.

There are few things in life that you can be sure are the LAST time you will experience them.

"This is the last time I'm splurging on shoes!"

"This is the last time I am going to eat a chocolate cake in one sitting"

"This is the last man I'll marry"

This is for sure the last time I am going to get cranky and emotional, be dogged by cramps and bleed so heavily I can't leave the house. Woo-Hoo! No more making sure I have a tampon in my purse, just in case.

Since humankind began, religions and cultures have marked the milestones of our lives like weddings and bat mitzvas. You've also heard me advocate for gatherings of friends and loved ones for business closings and divorces. I just think closure and public recognition are important.

In this spirit, I have chosen to have a Final Period Celebration. I think other women would do the same if they only knew when it was going to happen. It is a bit dicey planning this soiree because I don't know precisely when it will happen, darned that I'm not regular. This is a party hostess nightmare!

I'm picturing centerpieces made from a variety of feminine hygiene products. A friend today suggested I serve Red Velvet cake.One thing for sure... Bloody Mary's will be available. Aw come on, you knew it was coming!

Today's Aha! The Power of Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

2010-03-02T13:07:00.000-05:00

Today’s ‘Aha!’ The Power of Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone!

I just returned from a 10-day trip across Israel. This trip required my husband and me to step outside our comfort zones and fearlessly expand our understanding of others. This was my first time abroad, and many friends and family asked, “Why in the world would you go to Israel?” My answer: “Why not!”

I experienced three valuable “Aha!”s from this trip, all of which inspired me to dig deeper and uncover the “hidden life lessons” just waiting to be found.

First, I have a new appreciation for archeology and the science of uncovering the past. It was absolutely mind-boggling to see, touch and learn about how people lived more than 3,000 years ago … yes, I said, “3,000 years ago.” To be honest, I could barely appreciate what our Founding Fathers sacrificed for our freedom, let alone wrap my mind around the lifestyles of people that lived 1,000, 2000 or even 3,000 years ago. I am now inspired to travel and learn more about other cultures.

This leads to my second “Aha!” This trip opened my eyes into the ancient and current cultures in the Middle East. I now also understand the conflict that continues to take place, and why this part of the world is in so much turmoil. Frankly, prior to this trip, I simply blocked out much of the news reports that came from the Middle East. Perspective adds clarity, and I also gained a new understanding of what is written in the Bible and because of the profound religious significance of the area. Words that I never paid much attention to in the past have a completely new meaning. I can now envision trips through the desert and understand what the land of “milk and honey” truly means and looks like. As a result, I have a deeper understanding of the teachings in the Bible.

My third “Aha!” is that people around us are filled with valuable life lessons and wisdom. We simply need to take the time to uncover these treasures. Let me explain. My husband and I stepped way out of our comfort zones, not only by taking this trip, but by traveling with a group of 33 people who we didn’t know. For nine days, we spent nearly every waking moment with this group, so we had the time to really get to know one another … on the bus, scaling mountains or simply breaking bread. Honestly, it never dawned on me that I could learn so much from these fellow travelers. While we had many things in common, we had more differences. Most of the travelers were much older than we were, and they shared deep stories about their personal triumphs and tribulations, including death, divorce and illness. Without the distractions of daily life, cell phones and e-mail, we were able to take the time to understand the wisdom they shared on life’s true priorities.

Overall, I returned home with an intense sense of curiosity to uncover the valuable lessons in other cultures, the Bible and create stronger relationships with my friends and family. I’m inspired to slow down, take the time to truly learn how to intentionally apply and share these valuable lessons. Hopefully I have inspired you to step outside of your comfort zone, open your mind and learn from those around you.

Robyn Marcotte

Aha! Leadership LLC.

Robyn.Marcotte@ahaleadership.com

248.882.2354

http://www.ahaleadership.com/

Skype: robyn.marcotte

What do Joan Rivers, David Letterman and Rich Brauer have in common?

2010-02-23T16:24:00.000-05:00

Joan Rivers, David Letterman, Garry Shandling, Bob Newhart and others, all moved their careers ahead by guest hosting The Tonight Show while Johnny Carson was on vacation. No doubt my guest hosts will meet with fame and fortune when they take over for me while on vacation March 2 through the 10th.

Yes, these fine folks all enthusiastically answered my call to sit in for me. Interestingly, as the time approaches there are some nervous jitters. So, I'm asking you to show your support, call the show with questions and comments, post your greetings on the Mary in the Morning Facebook page and generally make them feel loved and adored.

How lucky am I to have friends offer to do my job for me while I'm gone? They are all choosing their own guests and topics, some of which I'm aware, but most remain under wraps.

Here's the line-up:

Tuesday March 2: Steve Wade, Executive Director, United Way of Northern Michigan
Wednesday, March 3: Karyn Hertel, Director, Marigold & YOU-FM

Thursday, March 4: Rich Brauer, President, Brauer Productions

Friday, March 5: Bryan Crough, Community Development Director, Traverse City

Monday, March 8: Brett Gourdie, Publisher, NM3 (Northern Michigan Men's Magazine)

Tuesday March 9: Bonnie Alfonso, President, Alfie Logo Gear

Wednesday, March 10 Karyn Hertel, Director, Marigold YOU-FM

Rich Brauer asked if I would be listening to the show while I'm gone. No, I will be sitting under a palm tree with a Margarita in my hand reading a trashy novel considering if it is time to turn over for a more even tan. Now, I'm a little jittery wondering why he wanted to know. Hmm....

Should have posted this sooner!

2010-02-15T15:04:00.000-05:00

No, actually, I'm blogging on time... this time. Is procrastination your enemy? I admit that I am a first-class over-achieving procrastinator. I can't wait to bond with my "better later than now" brothers and sisters at Marigold Forum on Thursday 2/18.

For a long time I bought into the research that said procrastination was a game of perfectionism. If there was any doubt that the end result would be less than perfect, we would delay starting the project at all. As with so many other theories, this one is being tossed out the window. I've never been a card-carrying perfectionist so I always wondered about the validity.

Here is my theory on my procrastination, because it seems to get worse as I get older: If I hit a roadblock in my project or chore, where I don't know exactly how to do something, I bail. At least for a time being, because I'm going to need to figure something out. At 46, I seem to think I should know everything I need to know and if it is going to require work (ugh!) to learn something, I put it off because I'd rather spend time doing what I know.Yes, I am ashamed. The strange thing is, I love learning new stuff, but I want to do it on my terms, not out of necessity.

How about you? Why do you procrastinate? Have you figured out a way to leave this club? Can you come to my house and figure out why I can't view .pdfs anymore?

Post your comments here and please join us at Red Ginger on Thursday 2/18. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER. NOW!

Your friend,

Mary Rogers

Aha! Guest Blogger: Robyn Marcotte, Aha! Leadership

2010-02-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

Today’s Aha!

Great ideas can come from the craziest places…

Don’t underestimate the source of a great idea. Over the past week, I can’t tell you how many times I have said “Aha!“ or “Wow! …that’s an awesome idea! “The simplest comment can be so profound. And it can come from the most unexpected person or place. So, check this out…

I am on the treadmill watching Oprah (yes, I am a closet Oprahaholic…) and she is having a conversation with some big important movie star using Skype. If you’re not familiar with Skype it is a free online video telephone. Seriously, it’s like George and Judy Jetson used to use in the old cartoon “The Jetson’s”. Anyway, I thought to myself …Oprah keeps using this Skype gizmo to have guest on her show. Why does she do that? Well there are probably at least two reasons good reasons: 1) it saves on travel costs and 2) it saves a ton of time shuffling last minute guests to and from Chicago. I thought to myself… that’s it, I can use Skype to connect with customers all over Michigan. It’s free… it’s fast … most important it’s fun! I now Skype 6 to 10 times a week and beam myself from location to location in minutes. Pretty cool!

My point, open your eyes… your ears and your mind… There are so many great ideas out there that can be used to solve so many different problems.

A couple of days ago, I was in a leadership meeting at our church. Just like the for profit sector, non-profit organizations are getting creative with cost cutting ideas. We learned that the janitor came up with a $12000 per year cost cutting idea. Get this… by closing off one section of the massive parking lot on weekdays the church saves money by not salting the parking lot. Because the parking lot fully surrounds the building there are over 6,000 other parking spots to choose from. Besides the demand for parking is obviously the greatest on Sunday morning. So, none was really inconvenienced by the change. Now … that is a simple idea from a truly unexpected place.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years it’s that sometimes we just look too hard and take ourselves way too seriously when looking for great ideas. So, today put on your pink sunglasses and go out looking for ideas. See every encounter, every interaction, and every situation as an opportunity to spark a new idea. I guarantee you will be amazed at how many great ideas you’ll spot.
Just think of the possibilities….
Pay it forward and share your Aha! comment here!

Robyn Marcotte
Aha! Leadership LLC.

Robyn.Marcotte@ahaleadership.com
248.882.2354
www.ahaleadership.com
Skype: robyn.marcotte

“Is it possible that she’s just plain stupid?

2010-01-31T12:10:00.001-05:00

We all learned in kindergarten that STUPID is not a word you should ever use, but sometimes, just sometimes, it is the only word that works. Stranger yet, it may be the verdict you hope for.

Have you ever had a client, colleague or co-worker do something to you that was so nasty, unethical, under-handed, sneaky, dishonest, etc… that you had to stop for a moment and think to yourself “Is she just stupid or is she doing this on purpose?”.

My experience is that these moments first prompt head-shaking shock, you say “WHAT?”, as if you can’t comprehend what the person is doing/saying. In most cases you are initially stunned and then seek counsel from others. “Is she just stupid or is she doing this with full knowledge that she’ll be voted off the island for this?” It is the “Just exactly what am I dealing with here?” question.

As mature and polite members of society, we might first seek clarification directly from the offender with a question that sounds something like…. “Do you realize that I’ve worked for 2 years on that account and you are going to take food from my kid’s mouths if you continue this?”

One of 2 things will happen here: 1) Confession of pure stupidity with profuse apologies for not having grasped the finer implications of her actions; or 2) Stone faced admission of “I don’t give a damn”.

And then the Trial of Character begins.

We seek character witnesses who can shed light on the likeliness of her stupidity or evil greed. Is there a history of other offenses? Any prior convictions? What is the word on the street about this person?

Here is the point in this: How would you stand up to a Trial of Your Character? Would it be the consensus of your peers that you are just being stupid (this is the desirable determination, by the way) or would others have stories about you demonstrating something less than the highest standards of ethics. “Yes Mary, you need to watch out for her”.

In this small town market, the Trial of Character can be completed in less than 10 minutes, without the accused ever knowing it happened. The more questionable the character, the longer the trial tends to last. More conversation, more gossip, more history, more damage…

I was called upon to be a character witness in such a trial this week. My experience with the accused was that she was of high integrity and this really must be a case of stupidity or ignorance or just not getting it. I was shocked to learn that when confronted she pulled the stone faced “I don’t give a damn”. Wow.

The problem with these situations is that now my impression of her is certainly called into question, I can’t really call her up and say “What????”, but I’m still hoping, that she is just stupid. Please just be stupid. Mary Rogers

How NOT to act old

2010-01-25T14:25:00.003-05:00

Pamela Redmond Satran has penned a book called How Not to Act Old. I stumbled across her sage advice on More.com, the online version of MORE Magazine which "celebrates" women over 40. Click here to read offending list.

For the 40+ woman concerned that she's actually acting her age, don't do the following:

Tweet about housework, enjoying time with your mate and family.
Go to the beach well equipped with gear, food, things you need
Wear socks to bed with your partner
Cut your hair short
Get nostalgic about what happened in the 80s
Openly discuss hot flashes
Give advice to young men

Well Ms. Satran, you are entitled to your opinion, and I'm quite sure that there are millions of self-conscious 40+ women getting sucked in, BUT! Damn you More Magazine, when are you going to get it? Size 0 models sporting the fashions we are supposed to desire, the Photo-shopped faces of 40+ women adorning your glossy pages, are making me sick.

Shouldn't celebrating 40+ be focused on celebrating reality? Or have the editors decided that the magazine is about teaching us old broads how to stay 25 or at least wish we could? There is a regular feature called This Is What 50 Looks Like: Madonna. Sure enough, there is a 50 year old female celebrity who has a stylist, personal trainer, nutritionist, full-time Botox administrator, a shelf of wigs photographed through gauze, and we look at her and sigh at our obvious defects.

So now I can't just look old, I also can't ACT OLD????? Hey, here's an idea... maybe More Magazine and Pamela Satran should stop using the word "old" like a dagger and start celebrating women over 40!

Your friend,
Mary Rogers, Age 46

Where's my comment?

2010-01-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

Note from Blogger: So you read a blog entry here, write a heartfelt comment and then can't see your post. What happened? What happened is I needed to start moderating comments after the Buy Viagra crowd started posting on Marigold Women Talking. Thank you, but our men our just fine the way they are. I've needed to start moderating comments for now. So sorry, I post every relevant comment. Just hate having commercial junk show up. If you can help me with this, please comment. Thanks, Mary

Answer your phone, you'll be amazed!

2010-01-18T14:12:00.001-05:00

I met with a business owner friend from out of town last week to help her with some business troubles. Her very established business was feeling the squeeze from discounting internet-based competitors. A secondary concern was lagging employee morale, especially her sales team.

As we casually talked over a few hours, her cell phone was vibrating and beeping and and humming away. Even though I'd told her that I didn't mind if she dealt with business, she never so much as looked at her phone. It was starting to distract me as I grew concerned about why she was so "in demand". She assured me that it was like that 24/7, in fact she encouraged her customers and staff to just text her what they needed. She found it much more efficient to respond to texts, e-mails and voice messages. Her friends, collaegues, and even CUSTOMERS knew she didn't answer her phone. This was how she preferred to do business and run her business.

WHAT??

You can connect the dots between her business troubles and her communication habits. Maybe you are not so extreme, but I wager we can all learn a lesson from my friend. Answer the damn phone! Maybe even place a call yourself to check on a client. How about walking out of your office to a colleague's and asking how they're doing????

I am as guilty as anyone, letting our technology play our gatekeeper. Be careful or you will lose your relationship. When times get tough and everybody is shopping price, your only asset may be "the relationship". That relationship is with you, not your cell phone or Inbox.

Mary Rogers
Mary@GoMarigold.com

What is a Real Woman Part 2

2010-01-11T14:15:00.001-05:00

Last week, we began the conversation "What is a Real Woman?", I suggest that you read that post to catch up with us. Readers replied here, on Facebook and in actual human conversation. The Instigator, Brett Gourdie, publisher of NM3 Magazine has gotten a ton of response to his article "Real Men". So Brett is coming on Mary in the Morning this Thursday, January 14 at 7:30AM to discuss Real Women and take calls (231 929-1067).

Some of the best comments have included:

A Real Woman...doesn't care what she looks like when a child is crying, understands the value in not answering an email, has worn her child's macaroni necklace in public, has decided not to scold her husband at least once, treasures a mysterious conversation with a stranger in an airport bar, has more than one swimsuit that fits, knows where her safe deposit box key is, can do her own taxes, snow blow her own driveway and in a pinch mow the lawn. She can grill a steak, open a bottle of champagne and drag an armoire across the floor using a towel.

and another...

I think that being a Real Woman, if there is such a thing, is about acknowledging the unique power of ones femininity while showing strength and confidence in one's convictions. We have more power at our manicured fingertips than we know what to do with.

and another...

Nurturing, confident, self sufficient. A real woman lets the man open the door and helps with her coat. I real woman is assertive and knows there is never a second chance for a first impression. She balances work, family and community involvement.

The vast majority of responses included a healthy nod to confidence and respect for herself and others. A real woman is confident in her role as a woman, whatever that may mean to her, and she is ruled by self-respect. What other women may choose for themselves is none of her business and she supports their decision.

I think it is much easier to be a Real Man than a Real Woman. The lines are drawn fairly clearly on the man gig. Women have a much tougher road, with traditional vs. modern roles. Not only must we carve our own path, we may be straying from our mother's path, which was our natural model to follow.All the while feeling quite criticized and judged by others. It is a big no-win, unless you believe 100% in yourself. Unwavering belief.

As for the stories about real men being bullied by women for whom they opened a door for... if these women had more self-confidence, they would see this as a gesture of respect, would smile and say "thank you".

Tune in to Mary in the Morning (106.7FM or 105.5FM or www.1067youfm.com) Thursday, January 14 at 7:30 to hear NM3 publisher, Brett Gourdie and Mary Rogers discuss Real Men vs. Real Women. Phone lines open at 231 929-1067.

What is a Real Woman?

2010-01-04T13:48:00.012-05:00

Few things can leave me speechless. Not the kind of speechless where you have no comment whatsoever, but the kind of speechless where you have heard something, want to comment or respond, but all you can muster is an jaw-dropped pie hole. I'm looking for input here, from both men and women, so stay with me on this, okay?

Brett Gourdie wrote a great piece in his mag, NM3 about real men. He writes about teaching his son to hold the door for women and he laments the demise of common courtesy and respect in our society. Gourdie then ventures out on a limb with his list of what defines a real man. I liked the list. But it made me ask myself the question, What makes a REAL WOMAN?

You would think that Mary Rogers, of all people, would have a machine gun style list of answers to this. Nada. Every phrase I came up with seemed to require a politically correct disclaimer like: A real woman can support herself, well, unless she is a stay at home mom with a husband paying the bills, which is fine, because being a mom is a full time job. Or... A real woman can change a tire, unless she just doesn't want to because she is wearing $400 Jimmy Choos and a short skirt, and she knows how to call her brother or the auto club.

I've asked several women about this question of what makes a real woman and they all found themselves doing the one step forward take back two as well. Why is this? I googled the question and found a blog with over 150 comments on the topic.

When you say "Real Man", you know what the ideal is. A manly yet sensitive guy with a good dose of integrity and red, white and blue running through his veins. What is the ideal of a Real Woman? The role of women has changed so drastically that we just don't know the baseline anymore. It has become taboo to tell a woman to want to be anything other than what she has chosen for herself. Is that good? Maybe. Is that bad? Dunno.

In polling women on the matter, a single word keeps popping up: confidence. A real woman is confident. Men and women are equally attracted to confident women. As long as confident doesn't ooze over the fine and subjective live into bitch.

Next week I will present a list of suggestions for filling in the sentence: A real woman_________. In the meantime, please comment freely, I'm confident you have an opinion!

Not a program person!

2009-12-28T14:13:00.006-05:00

Ready to make your New Years Resolutions? Going to quit smoking? Drinking? Overspending? Undervaluing yourself? Good luck with that.

I have a friend who is a "program person". You know the type: If weight loss is her goal, she writes a check to the gym, joins the 7AM Tuesday & 6PM Thursday step classes, purchases a bunch of sleek aerodynamic workout clothes, new bouncy shoes, buys the book "Grapefruit Fasts for Every Figure" and begins her countdown. After missing the first Thursday step class, she decides the whole thing is quite useless, the grapefruits are not as tasty as she recalls and she'll wait untill next January to try again. Let's call that a $650 effort toward her goal to lose 10 pounds.

We know the same people who do this with other quests. Want a new career? Take one semi-related class, buy some career books, buy a new resume software program, get tired of the whole idea, drop the class, use the books to hold a door ajar, blah, blah, blah.

Having been raised by a self-respecting AA drop out, I did pick up at least one useful tidbit of life guidance: Take things one day at a time. This is how addicts approach quitting. Just try to quit for today. If you need to start again tomorrow, cool. I feel the same way about weight loss, career planning, physical fitness, etc... Just look at today.

Try this at the start of your day: Have a list of 5 big picture goals for the year. Let's not even call them goals, that is way too much pressure. How about "My Things"? Maybe your My Things List includes

Better Marriage
Steadily Reducing Debt
Job Promotion
Organized and Tidy Kitchen
Be Healthier

Print about 15 copies of this sheet. Each day, have a goal to have taken at least one step toward one thing becoming a reality. An entry next to better marriage might be something like this...Kissed him before leaving for work. Write theses things down. How simple is that? Some days you may be a super-achiever and have several entries, wow! fantastic.

Here is my point with this: If you screw up, it is only one day! Each day we make thousands of minuscule decisions that impact our big picture Things. Just try to make mostly good decisions each day. Highly structured changes don't come easy. And grapefruit just gets plain old boring!

Scrooge Your Career

2009-12-22T15:31:00.007-05:00

Perhaps you have found yourself watching the movie A Christmas Carol, Scrooged, or another version of the Dickens story of personal redemption. Let's consider this story with an eye to our careers or businesses. We cannot change the past, the present is of our own making, and all that remains under our control is our future. Or does it?

I know I have seen and heard many friends with a spirit of despair when it comes to their economic future. We feel betrayed by big industry's failings, our state's poor choices, our employers for not planning for darker times. Do you feel frustrated by customers unable to afford your great product or service? Just as Ebenezer Scrooge looked to Christmas Past and Present with horror, we too can share his joy in looking to our futures. We can shake off what we can't change and change course, look to new directions, find something in yourself that was obscured to you and bring it front and center. Be bold.

Scrooge needed to learn to be generous in spirit with others. I',m going to guess that you've been doing that all along and the neglected one is.... YOU! These are times for Bold Change. Do not be discouraged by the economy we live in. Refuse to participate. Look to the new decade as your personal milestone of great change and growth, just as Scrooge does.

So where do you start with this Bold Change? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

"What would I do with a million dollars?" You just may find that some of your ideas don't cost a million dollars at all, in fact they may cost nothing.
"Why do I do what I do for a living?" Again you may be surprised. Is it because you are afraid or just comfortable? What is the back burner career you have dreamed of making real?
"If I were to be assured that my circle of friends and family would support a change in my career/business/economic standing, what would I do differently?" When you've answered that, consider why you care so much about what other people think!

Your future is yours. Isn't that great? Don't be a captive of routine or expectation. Be bold and unafraid. Go back to school, relocate, kick your grown kids out of house, change the way you promote yourself and your business. Just do something to take charge of your future.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Life!
Your friend, Mary Rogers

I'll take my troubles, please!

2009-12-15T10:54:00.006-05:00

In a Los Angeles family court waiting area is a poster with the following saying:

"If everybody put all their problems in one big pile,
upon seeing each others,
we'd grab our own and run!"

Ain't that the truth. As I was about to vetch about some silly complaint of my day to a woman I know, I stopped myself, realizing that my worst day is ten times better than this woman's BEST day. Gratitude can do wonders for lifting your spirits, especially when we see so many needy folks and families around us.

Even on the lighter note of our silly inconveniences, like a payment that got lost in the mail or the perfection of a fresh manicure only lasting half a day, these are so inconsequential in the big picture. It is that big picture perspective that will ground you and bring clarity about what is and what is NOT important.

The drama of your day turns to sand in the wind when you hear on the news that a family in the next town has lost their home and 2 cats to a house fire. Who cares that your husband doesn't put the dishes away, you have a sink.

I will gladly take my troubles from the pile. I will polish them and place them on my mantle.

You're Not the Boss of Me!

2009-12-05T17:49:00.011-05:00

"You're not the Boss of Me" is the title of our next Marigold Forum on December 17th. I know this topic well, having been raised, both personally and professionally, in family run operations.

First I worked for my dad's business, temporary executive housing. That means he owned upscale furnished townhouses which he rented to the Big 3 auto companies for their European and German designers and engineers brought to Detroit for 6-12 month assignments. It also meant that I was shoveling snow, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry and posting the company checkbook by the time I was 13.

In my spare time, I worked for my mom's first business, a tour company, filing travel brochures. Occasionally, I was working for my grandmother's importing business affixing mailing labels on direct mail pieces and helping her with inventory of place mats and women's' slippers from the Philippines.

The first "real job" was at 14 working for a Greek family's Coney Island restaurant. Then for a married hippie couple at their vintage clothing store.

So I suppose it was no big leap for me to team up with my mom and launch a full-service travel agency right after high school. I was to be a sweat equity partner, poised to inherit the business when my mom retired. Essentially, what this meant is that I worked 70+ hour weeks for a whopping $12,000 a year. I also got to manage a staff of 8 travel professionals, many of them old enough to be my mother, who universally resented my position and I'm quite certain assumed I was making a ridiculously large salary. I was not very popular in the employee break room.

This is so common in family-owned businesses. The kids actually get a pretty raw deal (upon retirement, mom & dad inevitably find that they need the money from the business and offer the kids first right of refusal to the purchase but the sweat equity just disappears) , the non-family employees feel unappreciated, and spouses end up without a "safe place to hide from work".

Big sigh. I bailed on the biz. I'm sure that others have figured out a way to make it work and I can't wait to hear the ideas flow at our Forum. I hope you will share your experiences, help out newbies to family businesses or gain some support from those who know your pain!

As frosting on the cake... how about having friends work for you!!!! Don't get me started.

For more information on this event, Click Here.

Mary, the Iron-Fisted Goddess of Holiday Order

2009-11-30T19:22:00.007-05:00

Ten years ago, I would have laughed if you'd told me that one day I would slice 1/2 inch patties of cookie dough from a tube and have the nerve to call them Christmas cookies. Until just a couple of years ago, I annually devoted one entire pre-holiday Saturday exclusively to silver-polishing duty.

Yes, Mary Rogers has dramatically lowered her standards for holiday perfection. I ate this year's Thanksgiving dinner, on Thanksgiving Day, in a restaurant. Gasp! When out-of-town family arrived over the holiday weekend, I had no meal planned for the 10 of us. We were going to "play it by ear". I had heard of this ear thing, but never tried it myself. I didn't have enough beds for all, but we figured it out.

Other people, who regularly just go with the flow, play it by ear, wing it, figure it out as they go, have driven me crazy my entire life. I needed a game plan, meal plans, sleeping arrangements, matching china and silver, a schedule, little matching condiment bowls for the dining table, clean place mats, Christmas bows that match the darned wrapping paper. These other people seemed so disorganized and happy and it drove me absolutely nuts. These were fine organizational skills for my career, not for a happy family.

Somehow, through magic fairy dust or complete and utter burn out, I have found my way to the other side. I wish that I could give you the magic formula, the road map, the secret answer to how you get there, but it is honestly just turning a switch in your mind. When I didn't spend hundreds of dollars at the grocery store, hours upon hours preparing the house and the perfect meal, guess what happened? Well, everybody had a much better time at Aunt Mary's house than they used to. And so did Aunt Mary. I enjoyed time playing games with my grown nephew and his dad, I slept in the next morning and let my husband make breakfast that included Spam. I sat in my robe while others made their plans for the day. It was the best time we'd spent together as a family in a long time.

The difference was that Mary, the Iron-Fisted Goddess of Holiday Order had left the building. With any luck, she won't come back for Christmas.

What's in a name? The Story behind Marigold.

2009-11-22T18:36:00.005-05:00

The first time I saw somebody spell the name of my company "Marygold", I knew I had a problem. That was never the intent of the brand name. Sheer coincidence, I swear. If you are a gardener, you would understand.

Here was the idea for the company:

Bring a lot of attention to women in business, a diverse and sometimes wildly individualistic group.
Highlight their numbers, but accentuate their personal uniqueness and flair.
Offer organization and structure to the group with out stealing the glory of the spotlight
Deflect criticism of women in business in general, and of women business owners more specifically.
Be a strong champion for others with well grounded financial structure for company growth.

Well, a gardener, familiar with Marigolds will see the analogy:

Marigold plants make excellent border flowers, drawing the eye to the entire garden without being the showpiece. The flowers within the garden, delphinium, salvia, snapdragons, impatience, hollyhocks, geraniums, etc... are the showy, flamboyant, gorgeous centerpieces, they just need a structure to pull the viewer's focus together in an orderly fashion.
Marigolds are considered excellent companion plants because they ward off insects from the other flowers in the garden.
Marigolds are hardy suckers. It isn't easy to kill a Marigold! They are tenacious little workers requiring little to no attention.

We are almost 5 years into the Marigold Experiment, how well have we done to achieve what we set out to do? Love to hear your comments!

Your friend,
Mary Rogers

Sitting on a footstool....

2009-11-17T11:54:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to keep up the pace with all that is happening this week. Currently, I'm sitting on a footstool in the back of the Marigold booth at the Chamber's EXPO, hovering over a laptop writing this blog. Isn't technology great.

The question every one is asking me today is "How do you guys do EVERYTHING you do?".

Well, honestly... we end up doing things like I am right now: Sitting on a footstool, huddled in a corner, blogging on a laptop! At 7PM last night our team was in full swing at Chef du Jour at Phil's on Front, 9PM the team is putting the finishing touches on the Expo booth, 4AM we're getting Mary in the Morning ready to roll, then everyone over to EXPO to spread the love. The Marigold e-News goes out this afternoon, hence the blogging in the corner while the team chats with visitors to our booth.

We all love what we do, and I hope it shows. There is never an internal crisis or a"feels like a distaster" moment that doesn't leave us laughing our butts off. We cover as much ground as we can, cut ourselves a lot of slack, bring along as many people as we can on the sweet ride of life and help folks make money and contacts in the process.

You are always welcome to join in our fun, as a listener to Mary in the Morning, a visitor to a Marigold event, a sponsor of either, etc... Do join in!

Menopause, Madness and Mary

2009-11-09T19:18:00.008-05:00

If there were more women in the U.S. House and Senate, the Health Care Reform Bill would include subsidized disability leave for women going through the stages of menopause. Unfortunately, not the case.

I have been extremely open and vocal about my own experience with peri-menopause and have been flattered and somewhat surprised by the praise from doctors in our area for making it a more comfortable conversation for women to have with their doctors, therapists, husbands and friends. I encourage women to learn as much as they can about their choices in managing symptoms. Marigold is bringing Dr. Pamela Smith to Traverse City this Thursday (11/12) to speak on the topic of our competitive edge, at all stages of our lives. Although her presentation will be of interest and relevant to all ages, I cannot say enough about the difference her approach to menopause made for me. Click here for reservations.

I was only 43 when my body started playing tricks on me and never would have guessed that it was the beginning of menopause. Soon after my body betrayed me, my mind walked out the door. I can honestly say that there were moments when I thought I had early-stage Alzheimer's Disease. No joke. I was very concerned that I would have to quit my job and find a new line of work. Can you imagine being Mary in the Morning, live on-air and having a hard time focusing on what the guest was saying... praying they wouldn't stop talking until I found my mind? It happened. It happened a lot. Still does, but not nearly as frightening. Ok, so I forgot what pimentos were called, and I refered to a bird house as a bird box(?????). But I can generally get through the day now with my sense of humor guiding the way.

No solid sleep, night sweats, wild mood swings, mental dexterity of a raw oyster, irregular periods so heavy I couldn't leave the house, etc... This is why I talk on the show about menopause. Some women have no idea that this is what can happen. For some, it is a walk through the park, for me it has been like a terrorist attack on my very being.

I now take a handful of supplements daily, give myself B12 shots in my thigh twice a week (has done wonders for fatigue), and although I still need to regularly tweak my dosages, I'm working with my doctor and feel that I am in charge. Ok, maybe not in charge, but I am definitely a deputy of my health.

I hope you will come to Marigold Over Lunch and get the most up-to-date research available on the topic of Female Hormones and Your Competitive Edge. I am living proof that arming yourself with information is the best offense.

Hormonally yours,
Mary

Zing Train Take-away

2009-11-01T15:22:00.006-05:00

Marigold brought Zing Train to town last week and the 150 people who took part in all or some of the day have been raving about the content shared by Stas' and Ann from Zingerman's. I think each person had a different aha moment that they wanted to share as soon as they got back to their own business.

Mine was this: Customer service isn't just for customers. Customer service extends to employees, co-workers, vendors and yes, even competitors. How we treat other people and organizations contributes to our brand and reputation in the community.

If a co-worker is being crabby, instead of blowing them off or complaining about their bad attitude, maybe an offer of help would break their bad-day cycle.

To the receptionist about to explode: "Looks like some one really teed you off, can I answer phones for you for 5 minutes so you can take a break?".
To the vendor or supplier sounding overwhelmed by your order: "I know you guys are crazy right now, want me to call you back in an hour?"
To your business partner who can't focus on your conversation: "I can see you have something important going on that's distracting you, should we shelve this project for a few days?'

In each of these cases we could legitimately complain that the other person was not being "professional" or whatever other derogatory term you choose. But haven't we all been there, when a kind word of understanding without a bunch of questions would have been sooo appreciated.

Unless this is a chronic situation, being helpful in their "moment" creates such a better environment for everybody.

Mary

Open invitation to vent!!!!!!

2009-10-27T12:35:00.006-04:00

I just loved the comment made by Anonymous to last week's blog post about women and equality in the workplace. It deserves a post all its own!


Anonymous said...: The timing for this topic is amazing to me. Last night I finally arrived home from my daughter's swim meet at 10:30pm. (I drive her to school every morning at 7:15am and then go to work.) My husband had been home for at least 2+ hours having left the meet early to go home and walk the dog. He never thought to take care of the dishes or help with laundry and doesn't understand why I'm so stressed to arrive home to a messy house and then I can't sleep with so much left to do in the house. Why am I not ready for romance when I enter the house? No my man does not contribute to the housework enough at all. Thanks for letting me vent.
Dear Anonymous:
I feel for you. We all feel for you. We've been in your tight pumps with our screaming swollen feet at the end of the day, only to find more to do when we walk in the door. And there sits the family on the couch eating chips from bags you bought, leaving crumbs on the carpet which you will vacuum, unless they get scarfed up by the dog who you feed, bath, and take to the vet 6 times a year. The kitchen sink is filled with dishes of a meal you made the night before for your family, crusted baking dishes that "need to soak". The dishwasher is filled with the clean dishes you ran that morning because nobody knows "where they go". Laundry, you say? I won't even go there.

Please consider this blog post an invitation from me to openly complain, vent & vetch about the crappy deal we've made with the idea of equality. Go for it! I'll edit the really bad words out, but promise to keep the spirit of your rant.

Your friend,
Mary Rogers

Time for Women? Time for Men & Families.

2009-10-19T07:41:00.009-04:00

TIME magazine's cover story this week: The State of the American Woman. You can imagine the little dance I did from my mailbox to my reading chair when it arrived! Pages and pages of statistics comparing the status and positions of men vs. women/women of 1971 vs. 2009/working vs. stay-at-home moms/ moms vs. dads, etc.., awaiting my eager eyes and commentary.

There is WAY too much to share here, but The State of the American Woman is... drumroll, please...... much improved. I strongly urge you to pick up the issue.

Here is what I found interesting: Among the most highly featured survey results are the following:

Forty years ago, one-third of all workers were women; now nearly half are. 76% of adults view this as positive for society.
Forty years ago, most children grew up with a stay-at-home parent; now only about 30% do. 65% of adults view this as negative for society.

And here lies the problem. We're getting the equality that we wanted (or at least we're a heck of a lot closer to it), but are unhappy with the results. Working mothers are ambushed by guilt and it is not solely of their own making as is bantered about. Forty years later, we don't think that we know how to raise our kids, have healthy happy children, sustain strong marriages and have financially and personally fulfilling careers.

We all race around looking for balance. Is it there at your part-time job?...is it there at PTO?, it is at a yoga class on your lunch break?, is your husband doing the dishes?

As a society, we haven't figured it out yet. Here is my hope. To do my personal best and set an example for other women. Just as my mother went to work after I was "grown", she gave me the role model of a female in the work world. Our dads pretty much never had to change. Today, the job of our generation is to be the role models of what it is to be working mothers and working fathers.

As hard as the struggle for equality for women has been, I truly believe the next struggle will belong to men and families as a whole. Where do men figure into this? They love their kids just as much, they pull more of their weight with household chores than their dads did, they respect mothers' needs for financial security and career satisfaction, but what is their role now? How do we help families adjust to our equality?

TIME Magazine, we need a survey!

Have you Bonsai-ed yourself?

2009-10-11T11:44:00.006-04:00

"I was at first very tempted to just shut down and Bonsai myself- keeping myself emotionally protected from love."
Karen Salmansohn, best selling author of Prince Harming Syndrome

On occasion, does a choice of words just strike you? In reading Karen Salmansohn's most recent book about choosing better men, this sentence above hit me. Not in the way she intended though. It was the visualization of "Bonsai-ing" ones self that grabbed me. I have found my Prince Charming, so I'm reading this book for the benefit of our upcoming interview. But the idea of Bonsai-ing, in order to protect yourself is relevant to many women in many arenas of life. Holding back your growth in an attempt to protect yourself.

So I set out to do some research and found that when a gardener tends a Bonsai, she not only prunes the growth of branches but also the roots, the fingers of stability holding the earth. Hmmm. The gardener is taking drastic control of the plant's growth. After looking into this, I discovered that the manipulation of natural growth takes a hell of a lot of work.

Bonsai Clamping

For larger specimens, or species with stiffer wood, bonsai artists also use mechanical devices for shaping trunks and branches. The most common are screw-based clamps, which can straighten or bend a part of the bonsai using much greater force than wiring can supply. To prevent damage to the tree, the clamps are tightened a little at a time and make their changes over a period of months or years.

Here's where I'm going with this: Are you snipping away at your natural and organic passions? Holding back to protect yourself? A desire to be an artist instead of an accountant? An accountant instead of a receptionist? An activist instead of a volunteer? A stay at home mom instead of a corporate leader?

Bonsai Pruning

Pruning is often the first step in transforming a collected plant specimen into a candidate for bonsai. The top part of the trunk may be removed to make the tree more compact. Major and minor branches that conflict with the designer's plan will be removed completely, and others may be shortened to fit within the planned design. Pruning later in the bonsai's life is generally less severe, and may be done for purposes like increasing branch ramification or encouraging growth in non-pruned branches. Although pruning is an important and common bonsai practice, it must be done with care, as improper pruning can weaken or kill trees.^[13] Careful pruning throughout the tree's life is necessary, however, to maintain a bonsai's basic design, which can otherwise disappear behind the uncontrolled natural growth of branches and leaves.

We all restrain our dreams to some extent. My chances of becoming Tour Manager for Bruce Springsteen are pretty slim at this point (yes, it was a dream of mine a long time ago). Have you had some dreams? What happened. We Bonsai-ed ourselves.

Trouble is that when we prune our branches, we must also prune our roots and if we do that too often... we just fall down.

So let's be gentler with ourselves and not slash away at our growth. Unscrew the clamps, put away the pruning shears, see what happens. Much more comfortable, take a big deep breath and exhale. Let your nature be your nature without constraint. Be open to opportunities to express your dreams. It's a hell of a lot less work!

National Customer Service Week

2009-10-05T12:22:00.005-04:00

What is great customer service? Like many things, hard to define, but you know it when it happens. Here we find ourselves in National Customer Service Week and you may think of this as an opportunity to experience it rather than give it. For many of you in professional careers, a customer service conversation makes you think of your employees interacting with your customers. You may groan or feel helpless.

Great customer service starts with the spirit of service from the top. Great customer service begins with managers and bosses treating their staff in such a way that it oozes out of every organizational pore.

Later this month Marigold brings ZingTrain! to town. Many years ago, the TC Area Chamber brought Disney trainers to town and many organizations sent their staff. Marigold welcomes your staff to Zing Train! but hopes to see many leaders there. Without you, your staff can only dream of great organizational culture leading to change.

October 29th promises to be a game changer for many. The Zing Train! staff brings all the wisdom of Zingerman's Deli in Ann Arbor where food and non-food industry leaders go for raising the bar of excellence. You can spend a grand to attend their on-site training, or $99 to come to Marigold Zing Train! at The Great Wolf Lodge.

The folks at ZingTrain are so confident in their approach, that many of their worksheets, essays, and forms are available on-line at no charge. Click here to requests a few.

Not to sound grandiose here, but this single event could truly change the Traverse City experience, no kidding. If you lead a company, a church, non-profit, or PTO, this one day event could set a new course for you and your organization.

Click here for more information.

See you there!,
Mary Rogers

Perspective in a waiting room

2009-09-29T16:42:00.005-04:00

Not that I’m recommending this, but spending an afternoon in the Michigan Department of Human Service’s waiting room can certainly change your perspective. This is where people in need make their first contact for state aid.

My visit was for registry clearance (a background check) for service on a board of directors. The folks around me, not so fortunate. I struck up a conversation with a well-dressed woman a few years younger than me sitting in the next chair. I had assumed that the reason for her visit was something similar to my own. Not even close.

This woman, had spent her adult life married to a wonderful man since graduating from high school together. She hadn’t gone to college because they had planned for her to be a stay at home mom. Her goal in life, to be the perfect wife and mother. Beautiful children are born, a starter house becomes a larger home, vacations every year, life is easy, life is good. All going according to plan.

When her wonderful husband suddenly and unexpectedly died 2 months ago she discovered some things. No savings, no life insurance, no retirement fund, no equity in the beautiful home and lots and lots of debt. She received her husband’s final pay check, including untaken sick days and nothing more. Health insurance could be made available to her, short-term, at an astronomical price. She was at the DHS office trying to establish Medicaid for herself and her school-age children. As we continued talking, she filled me in on her current state: she had a temperature of 103, having been diagnosed the day before with double ear infections ( one ear drum had ruptured) at Urgent Care where they gave her a prescription which the pharmacist filled and then asked for $800.

Her saga continued, and you can only imagine the pile of hard reality at her feet. Bottom line: She said all she really wanted to do was lay down on the dirty floor and cry herself to sleep and wake up with the nightmare behind her. She knows that she needs to go to college and get training, but hasn’t figured out how to pay for it, much less pay for groceries to feed her family. In her wildest dreams, she never thought this hell would be her own life.

There are so many life lessons in this tale, and they are so blaringly obvious, I won’t even list them here. Sigh.

Workaholic or job-lover?

2009-09-21T13:18:00.006-04:00

In the past 10 days, I have noticed a barrage of opinions coming my way on the issue of women's relationships with their careers. Authors I have interviewed for the show, magazine articles I've read for leisure, conversations with friends and in turn my own self-reflecting thoughts have turned to the question: What is the difference between:

a successful woman joyously obsessed with passion for her work, and;
a woman hiding from her emotions and intimate relationships by becoming unavailable through the demands of her job and in the meantime, becoming quite successful

Keeping in mind that women, by nature, are the guardians of relationships, have family relationships suffered because our attention is at the very least distracted, and at the most, completely elsewhere. According to Mary in the Morning guest Carla Wills-Brandon, author of Beyond the Chase, Breaking Your Obsessions That Sabotage True Intimacy, this is a rather new matter for family therapists. Workaholism has been the man's domain. Until now. Women who feel underappreciated at home can now garner the "Atta Girls" at work. And if they set their minds to it, get promotions and raises and awards. Nobody seemed to notice the folded laundry or clean wood floors much. But this, well this job thing, is fabulous! Her book highlights the various OCD behaviors we hide behind in order to avoid our emotions and intimate relationships.

In MORE Magazine's October issue, Amanda Robb interviews Mika Brzezinski, co-anchor of MSNBCs Morning Joe. Mika B was ready to chuck her career after falling down a flight of stairs, distracted by the adrenaline of her fast-paced career with her infant in her arms. After 8 hours, a medical team concluded that the most serious of the injuries to her daughter was a broken femur. Child protective services investigated and she was ready to accept the handcuffs and be thrown in the slammer. She also wanted to quit her job and stay home. She couldn't bear the guilt. CPS closed the case.

Mika opened a new chapter. Instead of staying home, she accepted the fact that she needed more help to maintain the career she loves. She says straight out that her career comes first right now. More nannies, more of Dad's time, less Mom. She is uncomfortable at times, but has had to fashion a life around her career, because she just loves her career. Her husband is very supportive of this lifestyle decision. Wow. I don't think I've ever met a mother willing to say "My career comes first". I've seen it, just never heard it.

Another voice, Stephanie Rockey, author of Ladies Listen Up! tells Mary in the Morning listeners that if they want to have a remarkably intimate and emotional relationship with their man, that when they come home from their powerful jobs in the business world, their first task should be to go change their clothes into something feminine for your man so he will see you as a woman and you can enjoy the connection between you as a man and a woman. That's enough to make some us very uncomfortable.

Even after almost 40 years of feminism, we still don't have this figured out. Have our relationships suffered because of our careers? Of course they have. Have our careers suffered because of our relationships? Again, of course they have. How many post-feminism generations will it take before we come to terms with what we've created. Not to mention the poor guys who live in the minefield of attitudes toward the modern woman. We expected men to adjust immediately when we ourselves still bumble through the mess of work and family.

Do you keep demanding of yourself to do a better job balancing it all? Do you criticize your inability to juggle it all? Feel guilty about loving your work more than your family responsibilities?

I remember my critical thought of Sarah Palin's campaign in light of the fact that she had an infant child with special needs. I questioned her priorities. None of my beeswax.

Sorry ladies, I have no answers to this. I do wonder what example we are showing our sons and daughters. Good? Bad? Clueless. Women over 40 are the petri dish occupants of this experiment. You've come a long way Baby! Yeah, thanks. Does anybody have a user's manual?

How much does FREE cost?

2009-09-13T17:32:00.004-04:00

Marketing gurus and business owners are wrestling with the value of "free". What will free cost your business? Look around you, in fact, look right in front of you... your trusty computer. Why in the world would you buy an encyclopedia when you have the answer to any imaginable question right at your fingertips? Why pay for a newspaper subscription when you can access the same information online? Oh, how the world has changed.

In the world of blogging and web sites, newbies are encouraged and coached to give away as much as possible, holding back the one golden nugget that generates the revenue. We now give away our general knowledge in hopes of selling the application of that knowledge to your specific needs. Authors now provide the first chapter of many books online in hopes to reel you in for a sale. Does it work? Maybe.

What can brick and mortar businesses learn from this? Free has become the new discount. Retailers and professionals need to be creative to get customers to spend. Go Free!

Don't you love getting something for free? I do, for sure. I get my punch card punched for every cup of latte and oil change knowing I'm earning my freebie. I'm a very loyal (and very cheap) woman.

So what could your business do to go "Free"?

Some Tips on Free:

Make it simple and easy
Allow the customer to earn the free offer on their first visit
Have it available to new and returning customers (never tick-off your current buyers)
Birthday give aways are great!
Build customers with "Bring a friend for free" promotions
Give employees the authority to throw in a freebie, at their discretion
If you ship items to customers, toss in a freebie, maybe some m&ms or a notepad
Team up with a complementary business and exchange coupons for freebies
Surprise a loyal customer with a no charge invoice on occasion. Just be sure to include the price then discount it back for a resulting "Balance Due: $0.00"
Never insult their intelligence by offering something as free when it is universally understood that there won't be a charge. This is commonly done by financial planners offering a free initial consultation
Remember that everyone loves a free car wash and free food!

My NOT to do list

2009-09-08T14:06:00.004-04:00

Does your To Do List haunt you? Are there single items on your list that never go away? Maybe you don't even write it down anymore, you know it is there, sticking its tongue out at you.

My home office is a complete disaster area. It also serves as my closet, junk room and bio-hazard waste collection facility. I am not proud of this. I keep the door shut. I redeem myself by saying that it is on the top of my To Do List. The actual task on the list reads something like "Redo office". In my mind's eye I convert it into the perfect multi-functioning work space for me and my stuff, decorated by a professional designer with built in closets, a fabulous and spartan desk, the breeze making it's way through the sheer curtains billowing behind me as I prep for work or pay my bills. Is that lavender in the air?

I'm taking this off my To Do List. I beat myself up everyday about this complete and utter failure of mine. Instead, I am writing "Clean My Room" on my To Do List and "Renovate/redecorate/transform home office" now moves to the tippy top of my Not To Do List. I just can't take the pressure. We need to be realistic.

Would you feel relieved by taking one or two items off your To Do List? Are you really going to get to them anytime before the paper the list is on begins decomposing? Maybe you have a project at work that you want to get to when things slow down. Ha! Take it off the Good Girl To Do List and plant it where it belongs: the Not To Do List. Maybe you would be more comfortable with my Not To Do NOW List or perhaps my To Do Later List?

I'm looking at it this way, I have eliminated a distraction from getting my more important things done. We will all be more productive if we stay free of the quicksand of unrealistic chore lists.

Please feel free to use some of my Not To Do List items:

Organize an end of year class party for my daughter
Write a book this year
Organize all family photos and mementos into beautiful scrapbooks
Create a mission statement
Handwrite and send at least 10 thank you notes each week
Call distant relatives just to check in
Become a vegetarian
Become an athletic woman
Face up to the junk under my bed.
Run for political office
There's more, of course, but I have things that I DO have to do.

Wine Survey

2009-08-31T17:29:00.004-04:00

Local food and wine businesses are two serious economic drivers of northern Michigan. We may make light of our "Foodie Wednesday" visits with wineries, food producers and restaurateurs, but make no mistake, we appreciate their impact.

Mary in the Morning started listener events at wineries back in 2006 then switched to the Chef du Jour Tour in '08. The thought, guarantee a full house plus a bunch of promotion, was to help restaurants on Monday nights when business can be pretty scary for a restaurant owner. The Chef events sell out every time and now, we are looking at the wineries again.

Do you support the local wineries? Do you visit the tasting rooms? Do you buy the local wines at your grocery store? Do you consider a winery visit entertainment or are you a serious wine connoisuer looking for an opportunity to fine tune your palate before buying many bottles? Are there just too many wineries in our region? We want to know.

The TC Wine & Art Festival was such a huge success, we are wondering if the area has an insatiable palate for wine entertainment and access to local vino. Please take our survey!

I've got a thing...

2009-08-25T11:13:00.003-04:00

At the Marigold Forum last week we asked women to share a gem of wisdom that has changed their life. Many shared tips that they wished they had learned earlier.

Many of the comments surrounded saying no, taking control of her time, not over thinking and especially not over-explaining yourself.

June Palumbo, Ford Insurance took the prize for "The One Great Thing".

Her advice: When you need to end a phone conversation, end a meeting, leave the office, exit from a committee meeting (regardless of why) simply say "I need to go, I have a THING". Isn't that beautiful! I have a thing, no details, no making excuses for yourself, no anticipated judgment of your reason, just "I have to go now, I have a thing".

It could be a conference call with your number one client or a towel on the beach calling your name. Doesn't matter.

Thank you June!!!!!!!

You don't need to be hit by a car to learn this lesson!

2009-08-17T15:25:00.008-04:00

This week's Forum Luncheon is all about giving and shortcuts. I'm asking you to think of a bit o' wisdom that you've picked up along the winding path of your career or business development that you wish you had acquired much earlier. I'm asking you to recall how you came upon this piece of gold and to have you think about how to tell that story and what the gem has meant to you.

Then, I want you to wrap this story and the wisdom it brought you in a beautiful (but pretend) box and bring it with you to the Marigold Forum to pass along to another woman. It won't cost you a dime, but could save a sister thousands in dollars or time.

What is the One Great Thing that changed your effectiveness, productivity, peace of mind, profitability, work/life balance, financial security, ability to build a team, made you an awesome leader or allowed you to give yourself permission to do something completely outside of your comfort zone?

Our featured sponsor, Bonnie Alfonso, President of Alfie shares her story of convalescing for 6 months after being hit by a car. She learned to let her team members get things done in their own way, not her way. It was tough for her to let go, but she learned to care more about the work getting done than on how it got done.

I hope that you can accept these gifts of wisdom as just that: The gift of a shortcut in life's lessons. We don't each need to be hit by a car to learn Bonnie's lesson.

Please join us Thursday, August 20 at the Traverse City Golf and Country Club, promptly at 11AM. Register here.

SARK and the E-Myth

2009-08-10T15:16:00.008-04:00

Don't you just love when you are talking to a new friend and the two of you discover a shared passion? Bonus! Well, that is what happened when I was chatting with my new friend SARK (or Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy). She has inspired millions of women through her art, books, PlanetSARK.com, workshops, etc... on how to transform their lives. After her first interview (a fluke!) on Mary in the Morning, we invited her to become a regular on the show, which I'm sure we will all enjoy.

In prepping for her first "regular" appearance which will air this Friday, we were talking about the joy and freedom versus the total consumption and loss of a personal life as relates to running your own business. Well, I mentioned our Marigold Book Club selection, The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber and she went completely nuts! She not only loves the book, she has conducted classes and workshops on it and thrusts copies of the book into the hands of anyone in the midst of an Entrepreneurial Siezure.

On Friday, SARK shares her personal E-Myth testimony to how she was working 24/7, losing her mind, didn't understand the cost of goods sold or ROI and was about to jump in a lake when this book came into her life and changed her way of operating. She assembled a great team of people, got smart about how a business is run and the rest is history. She is an artist, author, and a celebrated business person running an empire based on her personal brand. This is a sister who survived the infancy and adolesence of her business and is riding high thanks to the E-Myth and its principles.

Check out SARK's website PlanetSARK.com and you will see the many revenue streams that she has working on her behalf while she is chatting on the phone with Mary in the Morning. An inspiration to be sure!

Click here for more information on Michael Gerber's The E-Myth Revisited!

Do the work, do the work, do the work?

2009-07-27T11:29:00.000-04:00

If you were to ask me if I've read the U.S. Constitution, I'd say, "Well, not word for word, but sure I know what its about". Well, same thing holds for The E Myth. I have heard so much about the concept of this book that I assumed I "knew the book".

Well, I think I'd better go back and read the Constitution because when I finally did read every page of The E Myth Revisted, cover to cover I could only think that I wish I'd read it 4 years ago when I founded Marigold. I did not "know the book".

Who should read this book?
She who currently owns a business or is self-employed.
She who feels vulnerable to an oncoming Entrepreneurial Seizure (that moment when you decide to work for yourself or start a small business).

I will be blogging on the blessings of this book for the next several weeks, focusing on one concept at a time. Lets get started!

From the E Myth-
"It is critical that you understand the point I'm about to make. For if you do, neither your business nor your life will ever be the same. The point is: your business is not your life. Your business and your life are two totally separate things... An organism, you might say, that will live or die according to how well it performs its sole function: to find and keep customers". Michael Gerber, The E Myth

A sustainable business has the ability to function without you because you have designed and implemented systems and procedures that do not include YOU! Of course your business will include a lot of YOU at the beginning, but there should be a clear and definable time period after which YOU are not needed. You will be the owner of the business, not the business.

If you have a non-transferable skill or talent that you sell to others, you do not have a business, you work for yourself. Big difference. If you stop doing that work, the customers go away and so does their money. You will have lost your job. If you have taught your team how to do the work of the business and you have put systems and job descriptions in place with the right employees, your business survives and the revenues continue to flow regardless of your health. The business can be sold, transferred, etc... There is nothing wrong with working for yourself. Just don't fool yourself into thinking you have created something other that a different way to earn a paycheck. There is no equity from the relationships you have established with clients or customers. You have to keep doing the work, doing the work, doing the work.

Are you your business? Do you want the added responsibility of early stage business ownership? Can you see the business being attractive to a potential buyer? Do you want to learn a new way to approach your work?

The E Myth Revisited spells out how to achieve separateness from your business. It is not too late or too early. Lets get started.

Update your game plan!

2009-07-14T14:53:00.005-04:00

So we are a little more than half way through 2009. Where did THOSE six months go?

For many of us January 1 looked pretty scary and few were setting high goals for business or career growth. But most of us at least had a game plan with the goal of keeping our heads above water. How is the game plan working for you? July is the time to revisit the plan and the goals. If you never created any (shame on you, but I'm not your mother) then this is a good time to plan the remainder of the year.

As you review your goals and your plan, ask yourself:

Have I been successful in taking steps forward?
Am I holding back my vision out of fear or common sense?
Have I learned new disciplines that will help me in the future?
Have I discovered my true business allies and loyal customers?
Have I found that my new frugality should be the new "normal"?
Did I underestimate my ability to take on the challenge?

Maybe you can be a bit more optimistic in planning 2009 Part 2. At the very least, you can pat youself on the back for what you've survived and learned from the experience.

The economy may feel like a ball and chain as you try to get ahead, so consider it weight training. Once your leg is free, you will have become accustomed to the hard work, persistence and dogged determination to move forward. You will soar!

Lesson Learned on the 3rd of July

2009-07-06T13:18:00.005-04:00

With the nation's birthday falling on a Saturday this year, many of us were given Friday as a paid holiday. This was an inspiration to me. The 3-day weekend is a most glorious gift during a northern Michigan summer. Was it the glorious weather? Was it that the kids still had camp, making it a grown-up holiday? Whatever the source of the magic, I'm sold!

Instead of taking two week long vacations, I'm rearranging my schedule to take several summer Fridays off. I live here for the summers, so why not maximize the time spent enjoying it. Think about it!

Here are some options to 3 day weekends:

If you are the boss, well, just do it!
If you HAVE a boss, ask if you can squeeze an extra 8 hours into the first four days of the week. Just for 6 weeks of summer.
Request a special project that you do off the clock in exchange for Fridays off.
Offer to work 5 or 6 Saturdays or Sundays in the fall/winter.
Take a week of vacation and make it 5 Fridays between now and Labor Day.
Start complaining of mysterious symptoms of ill health around 3pm on Thursday afternoons. I think you get the idea. With any luck your co-workers will not recognize a pattern. Maybe space it out every 2 weeks.
With fewer of us getting raises in this economy, negotiate summer Fridays off as compensation for your work.

Enjoy!

Think before you join

2009-06-29T14:53:00.010-04:00

I was just asked by a woman business owner what groups/organizations she should join for networking. I'll pass along to you what I suggested to her:

Ask yourself 2 questions:

What do my current and potential customers have in common?
What organizations are they involved in?

If you want to sell to female senior managers and business owners, I would of course recommend attending Marigold events.

If most of your best customers are in the medical field, ask them which organizations THEY belong to. Most professional associations offer memberships to companies outside of their industry as "supporting members". Then promote your membership to the current membership. Use their logo (with permission) in all of your targeted advertising.You might even create a separate supply of business cards that include specializing in the medical field, or add a title of Medical Industry Specialist.

Taking this another step, what geographical are are you hoping to prospect in?
If you feel that another region, state or city has greater potential, join an organization THERE. Perhaps even in the state you hope to retire or semi-retire to. Make contacts in that area.

Consider what your customers would find appealing in your list of memberships. These associations create a sense of acceptance, credibility and can speed up relationship building.

When I owned a travel agency, I joined the Detroit Producers Association and marketed through their publications and events the idea that we understood their needs for last minute first class travel arrangements for difficult clients. All staff had a set of business cards with Production Industry Specialist. I volunteered many hours at their events and became known as THE travel agent for production companies. This was our most profitable revenue source. How many clients did we have when we started..... one.

Try it out and let us know what happens!

Chick in Charge of Time

2009-06-15T09:55:00.000-04:00

Time is money.
Time is money!
Time is money?

However you approach the phrase, it may help you to think of the value of your time as, well... actual cash. I'm not thinking of billable hours or the income you can produce in an hour, but the satisfaction of being alive for that day, hour or minute.

We all have the same time budget, 24 hours each day, 7 days each week, and so on. How do you spend your time? Does your spending align with your values and priorities? Like anything else, our priorities shift with. Have you adjusted your time spending as well?

Routines are hard to change and can become written in stone simply because we are creatures of habit.

Here are two examples:

On the professional side: Sarah has always done the bookkeeping for her pottery supply business. She was told early on that this was a simple task with QuickBooks and that it was extremely important to have a complete understanding and awareness of the business finances. As much as Sarah hates bookkeeping, she accepted that it simply must be done. Over the years, the business has grown and now she finds that 40% of her time goes to managing the books, payroll, accounts receivables.

At home: Sarah has always felt that girlfriend time is sacred. Her work is very draining and she has been committed to keeping up with her monthly book club. She always comes prepared, having read the book selection if she wanted to or not. With the business growing, her girlfriend time is more limited, and the reading time is keeping her up nights, furiously trying to finish each book. Sarah considers dropping out, but she adores the time with her friends.

What to do: If time gobblers are causing you stress, give the situation some perspective. Why are you doing things this way? What do I gain from this? How could I change things and still get what I want? Sometimes, just explaining the situation to a friend, thinking out loud, can bring clarity you were missing.

Poor Sarah! Clearly she needs to either hire a bookkeeper or outsource the work. Every business owner goes through this growing pain and the bookkeeping is the first thing to unload from the owner's list of responsibilities. For many in her shoes, NOT hiring a bookkeeper has stunted the growth of the business because the owner was too busy sweating the drudgery.

As for the book club, she may be surprised to find that her friends feel the same way she does. She needs to try converting the book club into something that works for her. Maybe the restaurant of the month dining club? A wine tasting group? Her club isn't the problem, the BOOK is.

Finding time. Take a moment to consider your weekly or monthly obligations. Are they truly a good use of your time or fruitless routines? Is the annual vacation with your old college roommates really where you want to be each year, or is it one of those, "But we ALWAYS go to Vegas the 3rd week of whatever!"?

What about the morning sales meeting? Could it be 3 times a week? Does it really need to be EVERY day. Are you missing out on your kid's bedtime because of a silly TV show that you USED to like. Old habits die hard. Clean up your calendar!

Chick in Charge of her Nerves!

2009-06-09T13:27:00.004-04:00

Ok, ok, I know I was supposed to write this week about time management, BUT...... the Indigo Girls just taught me a lesson.

Actually, I had to RE-learn a lesson and thought I'd pass it along in case you need a tune-up, like I did. Here's what happened, my producer on Mary in the Morning informs me that I'll be interviewing the Indigo Girls. Just like that. Its true that we interview very famous important people, and I should be behaving like a professional at this point in my broadcasting career (Ha!). Truth is, I still feel like I've been plunked down into a dream and when these big interviews pop up, they tend to happen very fast, maybe an hour ahead of time you get an e-mail that the celebrity is available and you either take it or lose it.

Understand, I am a huge fan of the Indigo Girls, their music got me through a rough patch in another life. But I know NOTHING about interviewing musicians. I'm comfy discussing marketing efforts and municipal budgets, not gigs and riffs.

Here's the lesson I RE-learned. Prepare as best you can and confess your nerves. Emily Saliers (the blond) calls my studio and casually says, "Hi Mary, this is Emily. You ready?". Keep in mind that I am still learning all the knobs and buttons over here and now I have an idol on the phone with me ready for her interview.

I wanted so badly to present myself as a seasoned pro. As soon as I heard her voice I bailed on that. "Hi Emily, I have to let you know that I don't get many chances to speak with rock stars and I'm more than a bit nervous. So, I'm going to do my best here, but anything you can do to help me out would be greatly appreciated..."

... Long pause of beastly silence.

"Hey, no problem, I've done thousands of interviews, we'll be fine", Emily graciously says with a casual tone. We chatted for a few moments and got to work. She was great and in the end said some very nice things to me off air. Whew!

The lesson is that I don't always need to be the Chick in Charge. If I'm going to learn new things, grow, expand, I need to accept the possibility that I might look completely inexperienced, because guess what???? We all are when we are learning.

Check out Indigo Girls at Interlochen on June 23rd!

Chick in Charge of Money

2009-05-18T20:32:00.008-04:00

A Chick in Charge of her money. Let that sit with you for a moment and try to visualize her... from her hair to her shoes... her home, her income, her investments. My first question for you is this: Do you like her? Are you envious? Inspired?

If you are picturing a wealthy well-dressed Jane meeting with her broker in a corner office, I now feel completely inadequate. But, if you are seeing Linda, sitting at her kitchen table surrounded by bills and checkbooks, a woman who is having to make hard choices about her spending, now we are in a reality we can all appreciate.

My idea of a chick in charge of her money has a very clear understanding of her priorities and her budget reflects those. She knows that she never wants to rely upon her kids in old age, so she fully invests in her 401k. The tough part is that Linda cannot do that and save for her kids college expenses. She might feel completely lousy as a parent for this, but she has a reason to stick to her plan. If she were completely focused on making more money for the college fund she would be working longer hours and not be able to actually BE with her kids while they are growing up. She also funds a family vacation each year. That money could go to the college fund, but then her kids would never have seen the Grand Canyon or gone to Washington D.C.

She is OK with the plan because it is a plan, not a failure to plan.

For those without the kid factor, the tough choice might be to go on a weekend trips or to fancy restaurants with "better funded friends" instead of sticking to a debt payment plan. The point is this: If you haven't come to terms with what is really important to you, you find yourself making bad in-the-moment emotional decisions about money.

Think about your home. Are you in a big house with big maintenance bills just because you grew up in a house like that and think it is the proof of your success? Is travel more important to you but now out of reach because of your house obligations? Maybe, just maybe, a far less expensive apartment could give you the freedom to travel? Would you be embarrassed to say that you don't own a big home on a nice street?

Do you continue to invest in a business that has become a complete drain on your bank account and spirit but can't stomach the idea of throwing in the towel?

Let me say that I don't have my finances all tied up in a pretty bow, not by any means. I struggle with impulsive behavior all the time. But I am working on being less emotional about my money.

I was interviewing a master gardener for the show and he contrasted American and Japenese home gardens. In America, we plant our most beautiful flowers right up against the front of our houses. A Japanese woman would find this to be crazy, she can't see them from her kitchen window. She plants her most prized flowers AWAY from the house so that SHE can enjoy them best, not her neighbors or strangers driving by. Hmmm... Are you making financial decisions to impress or please others, or are you creating a life picture that you prize?

That is a Chick in Charge of her money.

What is a Chick in Charge? Part 2

2009-05-11T14:00:00.003-04:00

As I put forth in my previous post, I consider a Chick in Charge to be a woman who takes personal responsibility for her entire life.

"But that's not fair!" you may feel. "There are other forces in charge of my boat!". Here's what I say to that: Only if you put them there. You can't always be in control of every aspect of your life, of course not. But when you grant that control to other people or institutions, you should do it with what I call Reasoned Grace.

For instance, perhaps you can't put 100% effort into advancing your career right now because you have 3 children who need daily bathing, a husband who you adore making dinner for, and a German Shepard that likes to sit on your feet while you watch Two and a Half Men on Monday nights instead of attending City Commission meetings. The problem is when you start complaining about watching Jane at the office get promoted past you because you are a mom. If being home, really home, after 5:30 is your reward at the end of the day, hooray for you!

If you've made a decision with Reasoned Grace, you accept responsibility for the consequences of YOUR DECISION to have different priorities. A Chick in Charge makes deliberate choices and decisions about her life and doesn't feel the need complain or explain because the only place to go is the bathroom mirror. She gives herself the power to frame AND responsibility for her lot in life.

This is not easy. Women who achieve this have a crystal clear sense of their core values. You lose your confidence when those values become murky. What is really important to you right now? This is why transitions in women's lives are so tough. In one decade, your children are first on your list, a few decades later your aging parents make an appearance at the top. Where did my yoga go????

Your Chick in Charginess is reflected primarily in two ways that you can measure: money and time. Where do you spend your money? Where do you spend your time? If you have a clear sense of priorities, decisons of time and money become so much easier!

Next week we will explore Chicks in Charge of their money...

What Is a Chick in Charge? Part 1

2009-05-03T13:53:00.000-04:00

Are you a chick in charge? Do you know one? I started the Chick in Charge
brand message a few years ago and found that the words made some people just downright uncomfortable while others flocked to buy any merchandise I
created. I am fascinated by the various interpretations of this little 3 word phrase. Some assume that it is meant for female bosses or business owners. I've been told by a few men that it simply warns them of a *itch in their midst.

To my senses, here is what defines a Chick in Charge: A woman who makes the most of her personal assets, understand and battles her flaws and never puts her head in the sand. She is in charge of....... herself. What does that mean? She takes personal responsibility for her entire life.

So what does it really mean to take personal responsibility? Think about the women who strike you as Chicks in Charge. She is her own source of power, her own source of happiness, she responds to her circumstances not reacts. I have always marveled at women who have been victimized and somehow seem to overcome all odds and move on. Or the minority youth, raised in poverty, rises above society's expectations and graduates from Yale. These are women who refuse to live a lesser life than the one they dream of. Nobody is going to dictate the boundaries of their potential.

At the other extreme, are women who have been given every advantage in terms of heritage, financial support, education and opportunity who have manufactured their own boundaries: living to meet others expectation instead of their own, buying into put-downs, following a parents dream instead of their own, accepting her culture's diminished view of a lifestyle, finding comfort in a blanket of fear and lack of confidence. These are definitely
NOT Chicks in Charge.

Realistically, we each have a toe in both profiles. Do you get that intuitive gut feeling when you are not being true to yourself? Do you negotiate with yourself? I'd love to hear your comment! E-mail me: mary@goMarigold.com and let me know if I can share your thoughts in a future article. More on this next week....

When I grow up...

2009-04-27T19:47:00.003-04:00

Do you remember certain milestones of growing up?

Riding the school bus
Getting your ears pierced
Wearing pantyhose
Driving a car alone
Preparing your first tax return
First day at college
First NSF notice from the bank
Getting married
Giving birth
Death of a friend
Buying real estate
Getting divorced
Earning more per year than your age X 1,000
Death of a parent
Death of another parent

After a certain age, (for some, this is in your 30s, for some your 60s!) the milestones of growing up seem to be more a matter of changing your perspective and giving yourself permission to change.

Completely changing the course of your life, by choice
Ending bad relationships
Not giving a hoot about what other people think about you
No longer trying to control everything
Comfortable with giving Plan B a chance

Interestingly, these later developments of growing up, seem to come in an instant of clarity, not over years. It is like leaping over a bridge. Once you are on that far side, you look back at your old self and give a big sigh of relief. This is, in my opinion, when you know you have truly grown up.

This is the fun part....

2009-04-20T15:03:00.007-04:00

I was asked to consult a business on some areas of concern regarding slipping sales, dipping response rates to marketing efforts and an overall slowdown of business. The manager seemed despondent, depressed and frustrated. They have a great product, superior service, yet they were not keeping pace with their plan.

Call me Little Mary Sunshine, the annoying optimist, but..... in my opinion this is when the fun starts. This is where you can tell who LOVES running and marketing a business and who just relies on formulas they learned in a seminar in 1996.

All of the business books you've poured through, the magazine article case studies you've pondered, the blogs you follow, the tips and tricks you've heard along the way when times were good. Now is the time that you get to actually put those golden nuggets of DIY in place and see what works!

If you love business and especially marketing, these are the best of times, when creative business minds produce their finest ideas. Perhaps motivated by fear or necessity, but regardless, you are forced to shake things up a bit. It is easy to get lazy when sales are steadily going up, your employees are enjoying healthy paychecks, and your clients pay their bills on time. So, now is the time to become the clever whipper-snapper of days gone by, when you were still fighting to show off your stuff.

Let me also say that for those of us who sign the BACK of a paycheck, now is also the time to show off your best stuff at work. With layoffs looming, you want to show off your best stuff when times are tough. Present a cost savings idea, dig deeper for new business, show your enthusiasm regardless of the economy.

Bottom line: Your attitude makes all the difference, for you, your co-workers and your own economic future. If you approach these challenges with enthusiasm, passion and the spirit to find the winning combination of efforts, you will not only increase your chances of great success but also gain the self-confidence of having come through it all a winner, no matter what.

A Business Wake

2009-04-13T15:53:00.008-04:00

A friend of mine is preparing to dissolve her beloved business. Big sigh. When I heard the news, I knew she must be in the starting stages of business grief. I prepared to contact her in much the same way as I would reach out to a newly widowed friend. What to say? Will she be able to talk about it, or is it too soon?

Fifteen years ago, I closed my family's business, a travel agency. After making the decision, there was much to do: meet with employees, negotiate debts with creditors, sublet the office space for the remainder of the lease, sell our fixed assets, contact our licensing agencies, etc... Among the toughest parts was, without a doubt, letting long-time clients and suppliers know that we had decided to close the doors and why. They had become such great friends over the years.

We were closing the business because of my mother's terminal illness. Because of that, the closing of the business became a metaphor for what was happening in our family. A few months later, when she passed away, many clients and vendors came to her memorial and shared wonderful stories about their fun experiences with the travel agency as much as with my mom. The memorial became a funeral for 2. My mom and her business.

I am a believer in happy endings. Because we hold our businesses so close to our hearts, I have suggested to my friend that she have a business wake. I'll host. We all love her business and will miss it. This would not be a funeral, but more reminiscent of an Irish wake, with a lot of drinking and jolly story-telling. I imagine that these might become commonplace. Perhaps this could be a new business for an enterprising event producing entrepreneur!

When it comes time to close a business, the owner can feel ashamed, and filled with a sense of failure. I say, "Nonsense!". When a venture no longer serves its original purpose, profitable or not, close that sucker down and move on to another path toward your next source of happiness. Far too many of us have held on to a business, a job, or a career that WE have outgrown or that has simply become a drag.

So, make the decision, fulfill your obligations to others, throw a party and move on to brighter days. I'll host.

How Sticky Are You?

2009-04-03T15:18:00.007-04:00

Here is what I love about the book, Made To Stick: You will learn how to craft messages than MEAN SOMETHING. Corporate babble is easily forgotten. Touch my heart, make me laugh, give me goosebumps, force me to remember your idea and make me want to share it.

I just dread seeing, hearing, reading ads that include "Our goal is to exceed your expectations". S-N-O-R-E . Meaningless words. If I paid an ad agency to develop a brand message for me and that was what they came up with... well, you can imagine.

This book starts with the example of Subway's Jared, the guy who lost over 100 pounds eating their food everyday. How many years ago did they roll that out? You still remember Jared, you remember that he ate only Subway and he lost a ton of weight. Simple idea, big message, easy to remember and tell to a friend. Sticky!!!!!!! The message sticks.

Who cares if your company has convenient parking, award-winning service, 65 years of experience, serves the entire Midwest? Put that information in a message that SPEAKS to me, now you've got something.

I love this book, love the idea, and can't wait to have you read it. You can get a discount at Horizon Books, just mention the Marigold or Mary in the Morning Book Club, or order it through amazon.com using the icon link provided.
Mary

From the Marigold website, GoMarigold.com:

Marigold and sponsor Bill Marsh Automotive Group are proud to present the Marigold Book Club. Together we'll read and discuss some of the hottest books to develop your career and your business! First up? Made to Stick by Dan Heath and Chip Heath. Why do some ideas thrive while others die? And how do we improve the chances of worthy ideas? In Made to Stick, accomplished educators and idea collectors Chip and Dan Heath tackle head-on these vexing questions.

Join us on 106.7 YOU-FM April 9th from 7am-7:45am on Mary in the Morning for our Book Club launch! Do you have to read the book to be a member of the Club? No; but we hope you will. Membership is free, but you must be registered!

Read about Made To Stick in TIME Magazine

Northern Michigan's small business culture

2009-03-30T16:11:00.007-04:00

So, a view of the Bay means half the pay, blah, blah, blah. Well, that view of the Bay seems to have another impact on our lives: unstoppable optimism and creativity in forging a life here. In speaking with TC Chamber president, Doug Luciani, he shared his experience of meetings with people who have recently closed their businesses or lost their jobs. Consistently, he finds them enthusiastically reinventing themselves, regardless of the blow they've just received courtesy of Michigan's economy. No whining, no pity party, just a comfortable state of "hmm, what next?".

I believe that spirit comes from our naturally entrepreneurial culture of small business in northern Michigan. We don't have many mega-employers, and there is a "business as usual" feeling about supporting ourselves through hard work and supporting our neighbors' businesses. You just figure it out.

The sheer numbers of self-employed, independent freelancers, based here, doing work around the globe seems disproportionately high for a non-urban region. Our corner mom & pop businesses, started with a dream and driven by an unexhaustable work ethic make this economy and this lifestyle work. We just figure it out, committed as we are, to staying here.

I love it. The people here are so much more interesting than corporate cubicle dwellers.

If you love it too, be sure you are buying local goods, supporting local retailers, dining in locally owned restaurants, supporting our farmers, wineries and utilizing the services of local professionals. These times are NOT business as usual, and our spending habits will make or break this small business dream in northern Michigan.

Keep the dream alive, with EVERY purchasing decision you make. Your livelihood may depend upon it.

Marketing through Media Relations

2009-03-23T16:20:00.006-04:00

So you want some free media exposure? Here's how: Make life easier for folks who work in the media. Simple. If there is a national story on national media, local media is looking for the local angle. Help out by being the local angle. You don't need to be an expert commenting on a news story.

Watch, listen and read the news differently. Be a scout for your connection to the larger story. This is what publicists get paid big money for.

The next time you hear yourself responding to a news story with, "That's just like my story", or "Maybe that is what's happening in Tulsa, but here in Petoskey, we handle things...", call us!, e-mail us!, let us know your story.

Example #1:
You post a receptionist's job listing for an $8 an hour job and get 350 applications including applicants with Master's Degrees. That is the local angle on the national economic news of employment figures released that day. You and your company are the LOCAL ANGLE.

Example #2
Your company has made a deliberate effort to go green. After measuring the savings, you calculate a decrease of energy usage at 20% and an immeasurable boost in employee morale. This is a LOCAL ANGLE to any news of any large corporation going green OR of low employee morale due to the economy.

Example #3
A national story breaks about a home invasion at a celebrity's residence. LOCAL ANGLE: Local security company offering tips on how to protect your family at home.

Don't worry about a fancy press release, a phone call or well written e-mail that explains why people will find your story relevant is fine. Include your contact information and the basic information you want to share.

Good luck and good exposure!,
Mary

The Upside of Fear

2009-03-16T16:34:00.005-04:00

Today I interviewed Pam Slim, sister blogger and author of Escape from Cubicle Nation. I have followed her blog for about six months and especially enjoyed her video post of a presentation she made called: The Upside of Fear( Click Here to watch it). What struck me was the title. The Upside of Fear.

At Marigold, we are always scouting for timely topics and great speakers. Honestly, I usually trust my instincts that what interests me will most likely interest our audience. The Upside of Fear, oh yeah, this is good stuff. Have you found fear peeking at you from behind your business plan or your dusted-off resume? Whereas most of us are completely immobilized by fear, it can actually be the motivator behind great and unlikely strides toward success.

We used to feel that a paycheck was the safe option as compared to freelancing or going into business on our own. Ironically, in this new economy, working for yourself may give you a greater sense of control over your destiny and income. How many of us with jobs are living in fear of a paycut or layoff? At least with your own business, you can bob and weave through this new set of circumstances, morphing your business to fit economic changes instead of waiting for your employer to "do something".

I recently spoke to woman who was dreading being laid-off. Her strategy.... she approached her employer with the proposition of terminating her employment and becoming her first client. She knew she could find other clients that had downsized her same position and needed only "part-time" help now.

If this idea strikes a chord, my advice:

check out Escape from Cubicle Nation
start talking to business owners about their needs in your area of expertise (especially if they have recently laid off employees)
make an appointment with a local SCORE counselor
subscribe to Marigold e-news and attend our events
and finally: feel the power of taking action!

If you think that this is the worst time to start a new business, I ask you: "What is this a good time for?"

Women's History Month

2009-03-09T15:10:00.003-04:00

Every family has one, an Historic Woman in our past. A sassy aunt, a grandmother who survived the depression years through nothing less than true grit, a mother that would stand up to the school principal (even when it WAS your fault), a great-aunt who bucked the system. Regardless of their tactics or temperament, they made an impression of strength that has stayed with you and your family.

I certainly had troop of rebellious, strong women to lead the way before me, leaving no doubt of a woman's potential. My grandmother, Faye Elizabeth Smith Keyes was the first female columnist for the Detroit News. Her daughter, Faye, was the first woman to have her own weekly radio show on WJR (some coincidence). My mother's mother carried the million dollars of war relief money from the U.S. to the Phillipines after WWI and trekked through their jungles establishing cottage industries to establish their economic recovery.

But of all the women in my family, it was my spinster great aunt YaYa, a hard working, studious librarian who touched my heart. Her patient and content demeanor, love of routine and hard work and an ability to never get her feathers ruffled, stand out as the makings of a woman with skills and abilities I have yet to master.

Who stands out for you? The bold brassy dame? The sweet loving angel? Please share your story with us and don't forget to share these stories with the children in your family. These stories pave the future with possibility.

Dirty Money? Part 2

2009-03-03T06:28:00.002-05:00

"From birth to 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money." - Sophie Tucker

I loved, absolutely loved, the discussion about money at the Marigold Forum Lunch last week. As is our way, the conversation weaved its way from business to personal and back again, with the group getting increasing comfortable with each other and the topic. Do we pay down our debt or stash or cash (do your debt duty, but stash any extra cash was the consensus)?

How do we better collect on accounts receivables? Stay on top of them and make it personal. Don't let unpaid invoices go unacknowledged. How do we increase cash flow? Invoice customers when the work is done, not just at the end of the month. Send reminders more often. Be light-hearted in your invoice reminders but make your point.

So much great information was shared by women who are in the trenches of their business and household finances. Thank you to those of you who participated!! And, a big open armed invitation to attend our next Forum Lunch which will focus on when it is the right time to expand your business. New services, products, employees, buying a building, etc... Whatever form it takes, timing is crucial
Mighty Oaks from Little Acorns Grow; Is it Time to Grow Your Business?
April 23, 11AM-1PM- Elks Lodge

Register here

Dirty Money?

2009-02-23T14:13:00.001-05:00

Can you remember the day? That special day when your mom or dad sat you down for..."The Talk"? They started by saying that they needed to discuss something with you that was going to be a wonderful part of your life, someday. They wanted you to be prepared for the joys it could bring, but wanted to alert you to the dangers that lurked. They told you that you could come to them, at any time, and they would answer your questions, without judgement.

Do you remember that chat? The chat about finances, money, economics? No? Oh, my.

Well ladies, if you are in the business world, you need to be comfortable speaking about money. It is not the dirty subject that nice girls don't talk about. Money is the key to business, and it works as a tool in keeping your business afloat and growing.

We have produced events on retirement plans, saving for college, the more delicate side of the dollar bill. This week's Marigold Forum focuses on MONEY, CASHOLA, CLAMS, SMACKERS and how we use them in the daily operation of our work. How to collect customer receivables, do you charge interest? Need more inventory... do you understand your credit line? Laddering your CDs for cash on hand?

Money makes the world go around and YOU need to understand how to USE money to get what you want. Join us for Money is the root to all.............. Business Success! A Marigold Forum on Feb 26th, 11-1PM. Click here for details.

Lesson Plan

2009-02-16T09:34:00.004-05:00

This month I am giving a couple of speeches to womens groups where I have promised to share lessons I've learned on the way to, well... here. In preparing my remarks, I remember my 16 year old son commenting to me just a few years ago: "Mom you're to old to be relevant and too young to be wise". Touche. So, I hope that the six years that have passed have brought me some wisdom, or relevance.

I know that women listen and learn best when information is presented in a story. The curious thing is that when I look back on the lessons I have learned (that are worth sharing) the stories seem to have the common thread of calamitous results. How do I feel about getting up in front of large groups and telling tales of disastrous situations? I can't wait! Because we all share these moments in life, which we either created all on our own, thank you very much, or life handed them to us almost as a dare. "No way will she survive this little gem".

That is pretty much how I feel about my personal and professional life. A combination of the shiny little chrome ball bouncing around a pinball machine (TILT!!!) and a game show contestant waiting to see what she's won, hoping that the powers that be will reward me, if for no other reason, than sheer resilience.

Some women had a clear path from high school graduation to where they are today as grown women. I never had a 5-year plan, a goal or a vision. I just knew that at any point in my life, I could take a quiet moment and say to myself: "I don't have a clue what my life will look like it 5 years from now, BUT, I do know that it will be completely different than it is today, and it will be fabulous. Can't wait to get there!"

So what is the lesson in that? Have faith that if you prepare for the just next step, the journey will reveal itself.

The Salute has begun!

2009-01-20T09:18:00.002-05:00

This week we kicked off the 2009 Salute season. Over the next several months, 30 awesome women will share their stories of how each started their business, or how they came to own them. What I love most about meeting these women is that in speaking with them you would never know that our economy is the most challenging in decades. They love their businesses like their children. And just like parents, they beam when explaining their products then gush when describing their service.

Please check out all of these women and their businesses, you can contact them through our website to congratulate them or ask questions.

Thank you to the folks at Williams Honda for sponsoring this year's Salute to Women in Business.

Pay Equity Legislation Moves Forward

2009-01-12T17:29:00.007-05:00

Speaker of the US House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi looks pretty happy here. Well, so should you! On January 9th, the House passed the Ledbetter Act which would reverse (or correct) the US Supreme Court's ridiculous ruling last year that stated women must file a discrimination claim with the Civil Rights Commission within 180 days of their first discriminatory paycheck.

In other words, if you've been paid less than your equally-tasked and qualified male co-worker(s) and you don't find out until 6 months after you start work... guess what? No luck!

I'm working on getting an interview with the press secretary of the Center for American Progress, but YOU can check out their current article HERE. Please sign up there for e-mail updates on this issue as it still needs Senate approval.

Have you been paid less than your male colleagues with equal qualifications and job duties? Tell us.

Where are the women?

2009-01-07T12:59:00.004-05:00

As I line up speakers for Marigold events and guests for Mary in the Morning I begin to notice trends. I have an increasing interest in civic affairs and the community leaders shaping policy for our future. Why it that so very few women are in these leadership roles?

I do NOT believe that women are kept out as they were in the past. Rather, I have a completely unscientific theory that when we reach the age of interest in public service or the "top job" in organizations, (call it our late 40s) women are raising teenagers and managing their own parents and frankly.... we are simply exhausted from balancing our professional and personal lives. I know one woman in her late forties that is scaling back all ambitions until she can trust her body/brain function under the storm of menopause! Maybe that's the problem!

Have you held back a desire to be more involved in the community or in a cause that speaks to you because you were just too darn tired and pulled in every direction? So what do we do about this? I believe that women bring unique talents and perspectives to the table. We finally earned our place at the table, but many seats remain untaken.

Marsha Smith, executive director of Rotary Charities has been there, firsthand, as the pendulum has swung one way... and then the other. Where are the women? Come hear her insights on this and please share your thoughts here as well.

2009: The Year to Adapt

2008-12-30T08:21:00.004-05:00

How do we adjust our business and career goals within this new economic landscape? Hide under the covers? Get angry?

Here is my suggestion: Change your perspective. Engage your imagination and release your thoughts from current obligations. What would you do if you were offered a fresh start? Would you have a different type of business? Give up the storefront? Would you change industries? Become a freelancer instead of an employer? You may have more flexibility than you think.

Consider a re-do. What would it take to get from where you are to what could be? Does it seem just too hard? I will bet you that the hardest part of this is too let go of the current model. Ego, stubbornness, fear of new ideas will make the "Ostrich Position" very attractive.

The most successful people at the end of 2009 will be those who were the most adaptable. If General Motors is having to re-think everything , maybe you should too. There is no failure in changing directions. Everything is on the table, so to speak.

How will you recreate, adapt, re-do in 2009?

FAQ - The Purchase of Marigold by YOU-FM

2008-11-30T09:04:00.000-05:00

Questions for Mary about the sale of Marigold to 1067YOU-FM

Q: Does this mean that the new Marigold Director, Karyn Hertel, will be taking over Mary in the Morning?
A: Well, then it would be Karyn in the Morning and they would have to re-do even more logos. So, no, I think I'll keep doing that. But you can definitely expect Karyn to join us in the studio to keep listeners up to speed on all of the great opportunities for women with Marigold.

Q: What are you going to do now?
A: Are you kidding? I'm still doing the morning show, waking up at 4:30AM each day. This transition means a 40 hour week instead of a 90 hour week. As I recall, I have a husband and children I'd like to meet up with. I will still be at the podium at every Marigold event, selecting our speakers and providing the vision for Marigold.

Q: Is there going to be a party?
A: YES! It is in the works, and you will be the first to know the details.

Q: How will things change for Marigold Women in Business?
A: As a Marigold subscriber, you will have many new ways to market your business and yourself. Look for new ways to contribute content to GoMarigold.com. We are expanding the range of sponsorships to offer lower priced options for smaller businesses. You will also have greater opportunities to network with women outside of the Traverse City market.

Chick in Charge Hat

2008-11-30T08:23:00.003-05:00

Our most popular item!
A great gift for the Chick in Charge at your office or a terrific way to celebrate bad hair days.

High-quality brushed cotton women's adjustable baseball cap.

Cost $22
Holiday Special: $16.00 includes tax and shipping
Order before December 10 or while quantities last

ORDER HERE

Compliment?... The Other Side

2008-09-24T18:39:00.003-04:00

I think I received a compliment the other day. "I love your radio show, you really $%#@! with my head." Hmmm. The listener went on to explain that she will think that she knows her position on something and then, darn it, we go and make her see the other side of it.

Well, let me share with you that, since the show started, I too have had to see the OTHER side of things. You will notice that although I can be pretty outspoken, I don't want to completely alienate women who may be of a different philosophical world. I would hate to lose a loyal listener over one topic. But I need to be true to my heart. Sticky stuff, still learning how to do it. Advice welcome and encouraged.

We are all faced with this dicey situation during an election season. I recently asked for suggestions of Dream Speakers for a survey. Anyone suggested more than 3 times made the cut. When the survey was posted I received some very nasty comments that there were no conservatives on the list, too liberal and I was biased. Not my list. What is a girl to do?

Shake?

2008-09-01T19:01:00.004-04:00

I believe I am an "over-shaker". I shake hands with students, little old ladies, the paper boy... I'm a shaker, always have been. Every so often, I detect a level of discomfort from the shaken one. Have I misjudged the appropriateness of the shake? How do YOU feel about shaking hands? Is there a male/female rule about this business of shaking hands? Do you shake hands at a baby shower?

Bill Marsh, Jr. and I recently had this conversation. He wondered how customers at his dealerships, females in particular, would feel about a salesperson offering their hand for a welcome shake? Too personal? Intrusive? Neighborly? Bill also shared this CareerBuilder.com article on shaking hands. I think you will find it interesting

I told him that I am a bad measure for most women on this one, I'm an enthusiastic shaker.

How do YOU feel about shaking? Please share your thoughts!

Future Women in Business

2008-08-26T04:05:00.005-04:00

One of my greatest pleasures is speaking to groups of teenage girls on the matter of careers. Of the hundreds of young women I have met with, I've rarely heard, "I'd like to get my business degree", or "I want to start (or lead) a company that...".

I believe the reason is a lack of exposure to successful women in business.

Beginning in September of 2006, Marigold has hosted a group of female high school students to join us at Marigold Over Lunch. We call this: Future Women in Business. Juliette Schultz, owner of Spark! and Candie Conat, owner of Baskets Full of Gifts have underwritten the costs while Trish Fiebing, Volunteer Coordinator for TCAPS coordinates the selection of students, chaperones, transportation, etc...

We are looking for input and involvement of more women in business. If this issue speaks to you, and of course I hope that it does, please leave your comments here on what more you think we can do, on a volunteer basis to encourage young women to see greater possibilities for themselves. If you would like to be placed on a e-mail list for Future Women in Business advocates, click here.

Ask yourself a question

2008-08-19T12:22:00.002-04:00

I was having a conversation with a mentor of mine about a possible investment in my company. This was not a large amount of money that we were discussing. He startled me by asking, "What would you do if I invested 10 times that amount of money?" Hmmm? I was somewhat speechless.

He asked me to give it some thought. This became a great exercise for me as a business owner. What would I do with $100,000 or even $1,000,000? This freed me to think big, really big. Once I had opened myself to the idea of greater resources, the ideas began to flow and so did the rationale behind the investment. Why not?

I highly recommend this idea to all business owners, it is NOT as easy as it sounds. But it makes clear the boundaries of imagination that small thinking creates. Go for it!

Bad manners?

2008-08-17T18:29:00.004-04:00

In these days of a down economy, it has become a faux pas to declare that your business is actually going strong. The problem with this is that sharing stories of despair has become the norm.

There are indeed, pockets of the northern Michigan business landscape showing strong signs of growth. Funny though, that these business owners speak in hushed tones. Perhaps, if they were more vocal in sharing the good news, others would feel a sense of hope and promise for the near future. Or is it simply bad manners to say "business is great"?

What do you think?

Anniversary of the 19th Amendment

2008-08-11T09:41:00.004-04:00

August 18 marks the 88th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Constitutional Amendment extending the right to vote to women in the United States of America. In 2008, we take for granted that we no longer are second-class citizens. Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to speak to young ladies recently graduated from college who seems genuinely shocked that in our nation's not so distant history women could not vote, own property in their own name, attend universities, etc...

Women were beaten, force-fed during hunger strikes, jailed and worse for heralding a woman's right to vote. Please remind your daughters how much these women who came before us sacrificed for OUR right to vote.

Get excited about your career, leave town!

2008-08-05T15:22:00.002-04:00

Ladies, I just returned from Morning Show Boot Camp in Denver and I am reminded how meeting your peers from around the country (and the world) can get you re-invigorated about your profession. It is so easy to access resources on-line, that we may not be attending industry conferences and conventions as readily as in prior years.

I had the opportunity to meet with morning show air talent, producers, agents and managers who generously shared ideas, offered suggestions, introduced me to products and services that will immediately improve my work. Most of this came from informal networking between workshops.

If you are feeling stuck in a career rut, find out about industry conferences that you can attend and shake things up a bit! You may also meet contact who can help you find a new job in a closely related industry.

Backstage

2008-07-10T07:59:00.003-04:00

Who knew? Rick Springfield, yes. Phenomenal entertainer, super nice guy, so cool. 'Nuff said. Oh my.

Chick in Charge caps now available on-line

2008-06-10T18:17:00.006-04:00

You are a Chick in Charge!
This high quality brushed cotton women's cap is available on-line. Adjustable metal slide in back. Get yours now or buy it as a gift.

$22 includes tax, shipping and handling within the U.S.
CLICK HERE to purchase.

Mentoring

2008-06-08T13:53:00.002-04:00

We hate to reinvent the wheel! Do you know of a matchmaking organization in northern Michigan for women in business seeking mentors? Please let us know!

2008 Mary in the Morning Wine Tour Kicks Off

2008-05-15T11:20:00.004-04:00

Wine Tour took off last night at Shady Lane Cellars with an enthusiastic crowd of wine lovers. Thank you to all who attended and to General Manager Maureen Faber who knows how to throw a party!

I personally invite you to join us on our tour of nine different wineries throughout Old Mission Peninsula, Leelanau Peninsula and Petoskey. Always free, always friendly, always fun.
Click here for Wine Tour Info.

The blog is back

2008-05-11T18:36:00.001-04:00

Having a blog is a very strange thing. You put some thoughts in writing, post it for the world to see, and hope somebody somewhere finds it at least a bit interesting.

I took the blog down for a while because radio industry folk had taken over the conversation. When anonymous sound engineers started using my blog to criticize me and my guests on the radio show, etc... it stopped being any fun. I have a pretty thick skin, but my guests and friendly blog contributors shouldn't have to be subjected to nasty remarks.

So, here we go again!

Smart Phone Intelligence

2008-05-11T18:15:00.002-04:00

They say that to keep your brain nimble as you age, that it is important to learn new skills along the way. So, how appropriate that for my 45th birthday I bought myself a Smart Phone.

I can get my e-mail, watch CNN Headline News, download music, create Microsoft EXCEL files, pdfs, get directions from here to anywhere and a bunch of other things I don't understand. This may be the greatest personal challenge I will face in the second half of my life. The temptation to "lose it someplace" is so strong! I had just learned how to use the camera on my last phone.

So please bear with me as this old dog learns new tricks.

Five Questions of Mary

2008-04-26T17:39:00.002-04:00

Which came first, Marigold or Mary in the Morning?
Marigold in 2005, the radio show 2007. Marigold offers face-to-face interaction with women, which I will never give up.

Do you own Mary in the Morning?
No! I am an employee of Northern Broadcast. This was their idea, not part of my plan whatsoever. I was shocked when they approached me with the idea. I thought they were crazy!

Where did you get your radio experience?
Listening to Ron Jolly (WTCM) and Terry Gross (NPR). I admire Ron Jolly for his generosity in making sure all of his guests sound good. Terry Gross is a great role model for asking the unexpected question.

How early do you wake up?
4:45AM. It isn't pretty. The first hour of the show is pre-taped the day before, so I don't get to the studio until 6:30AM.

Is the show just for women?
When we started it was, not anymore. A funny thing happened: Men loved the show and at least half of our callers are men. Naturally, because my co-host Lori and I are both women, we offer a female perspective to issues and topics. This has been a bit of an experiment for management, and I truly appreciate their risk with a female talk host.

Salute to Women in Business

2008-04-13T19:50:00.003-04:00

Each Sunday night, for the past 26 weeks, Marigold has sent out the Salute to Women in Business e-blast, announcing the honoree of the week. Tonight's edition was an invitation to the Grand Luncheon and Awards ceremony on May 5 honoring all 26 women along with the initial 26.

The program will begin again in September. I was asked if I was worried about finding another 26. Ha!, not in the least. We have a deep pool of talented and amazing female entrepreneurs in northern Michigan.

Here is something I want to share: Almost without exception, recipients have expressed a shared concern that they feel they do not "measure up" to the accomplished women they join in the group of honorees. These women are far too humble. Each women is chosen for her ingenuity, courage, business savvy, and or economic impact on the community. I am so proud to have this opportunity to cast the spotlight on each of them.

Join us as we honor these 52 women on May 5, at the Salute to Women in Business Grand Luncheon at GT Auto on US31. Click here for more info or to register.

Back on the Blog Track

2008-03-31T17:35:00.002-04:00

OK. I admit it. I got distracted, for months. I have ignored the blog, haven't posted are darned thing. Oh my.

I am filled with a new sense of commitment. Yes! I am a blogger! I can see myself blogging witty little tid-bits that will bring giggles and gasps from my readers. You will post your comments with interactive urgency. Ahhh, I can see it now.....

New Years' Resolutions?

2007-12-11T14:33:00.000-05:00

Just asking..... are you making a resolution for 2008? Business or Personal? What is it?

Business-wise, mine is to make more connections with business women outside of the Traverse City area. I am so enjoying my visits to business events in Petoskey, Gaylord, Benzie County. This isn't such a small market after all!

Personally- I need to re-establish contact with my inner domestic diva. I lost her for a while there and need to reconnect. Maybe I will redecorate a room or commit to more home-cooked meals. I miss the creative aspect of homemaking.

How about you?

Mary in the Morning Listeners Adopt Family

2007-12-11T14:24:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all of the Marigold women and WSRT listeners who contributed to our adopted family. A mom and her 3 daughters were brought to our attention by Karyn Hertel of the Women's Resource Center. We put the word out to you and the response was very heart-warming.

Among our contributors: Bonnie Alfonso, Candie Conat, Charlie Ferguson, Lori Cole, Emily Betz Tyra, Carol Murray, Kristal Flateau, WSRT-Gaylord office, Union Kate- WKLT, Vicki Beam, Matt Brehmayer, Pat Hobson, Carol Vernam, Kathie Wing, Karie Simon Lambert, Anonymous, Tracy Kiersey, Deb Callison and others. If I missed your name-send me a note and I'll add you in!!!

Karie Simon Lambert said it best "I'm so grateful to be warm and fed, how could I not give".
Thank you all,
Mary

Does size matter?

2007-10-25T06:48:00.000-04:00

I love that Marigold Over Lunch attracts sell-out crowds, but I yearn for a more interactive format that allows for discussion among all attendees. Instead of a keynote speaker, we would facilitate conversations with a group of 20-25 women over lunch, addressing broad issues of interest with permission to get off topic.

We have such a vast pool of knowledge among the women of our region, I want to find a way to share our expertise, experiences and findings as we all "bob and weave" through the ups and downs of being career women.

Not to worry, Marigold Over Lunch will continue, and keep growing. These new smaller format events will be a new offering. Please post your thoughts on this idea, as well as topics of interest and suggestions for what to call them.

The Salute is back!

2007-10-15T06:06:00.001-04:00

Probably my favorite Marigold program, the Salute to Women in Business, is back in full swing with the generous support of Grand Traverse Auto co-owners, Jayne and Mary Jo Sleder. These two awesome women really "get" what Marigold is all about: Bring attention, lots of attention, to women who have taken the riskier road to success.

The 26 women who have been chosen, come in very different shapes and sizes, upbringing, educational backgrounds, AND have wildly different reasons for choosing entrepreneurship. They do all have inspiring stories and straight-shooter advice for other women.

Few occasions arise where a business owner is recognized for their efforts, unless they are chosen as the BEST at this or that. Marigold is delighted to bring a spotlight on 26 different women each year who inspire us.

Please show your generosity of spirit in sending your congratulations to these women.

Changing the world... one facial at a time

2007-10-07T10:19:00.000-04:00

Last week we took the Mary in the Morning Spa Tour to Salone de Capelli where one of our spa tour winners reported that the experience "spoke to her soul". After a manicure, facial and hair styling she was "transformed". I believe that it was more than just a physical transformation, but more of a new appreciation for the art of caring for yourself enough to take time in your day for pampering and rejuvenation.

Tell us how you fit pampering into your schedule! Does it relieve your stress? Make you a better wife, mom, boss? Please share your thoughts.

More Talk Less Music!

2007-09-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

The radio gods have spoken and Mary in the Morning is now re-formatting to include more talk, less music. Lots more talk. Co-host Lori Cole and I are just thrilled to be able to have complete thoughts and not have to return to music every time we get a good conversation rolling.

With this change, comes more opportunities for guest appearances and call-in interviews. We are devoting every Wednesday to food, dining, eating, all things gastronomic. If you have a take on food, let us know!

If you have other ideas for show topics, want to be a guest or have requests for songs that get you going in the morning, just let us know! mary@1067wsrt.com

Congrats to Marigold Scholarship Recipient, Jacquie Wilson

2007-09-16T17:45:00.000-04:00

At this week's Marigold Over Lunch, Jacquie Wilson, owner of The Chocolate Buzz and Jacquie Caters will receive an $800 check from Marigold to the Leadership Grand Traverse program. Jacquie exemplifies the Marigold spirit of helping others and she will make a meaningful contribution to our community as she steps into the role of community leader. Congratulations Jacquie!

Jacquie writes:

Dear Mary'
Thank you for your very generous scholarship to Leadership Grand Traverse. I have only heard about your conversation with Laura O on your show. We had worked into the wee hours the night before and I was fast asleep. One of my friends called to admonish me for neglecting to tell her that I had applied for the Leadership program, let alone that I had become the recipient of your scholarship. ...Oops.

I hope you realize that becoming involved with Marigold has been life changing for me. You continue to offer avenues to sample, to nurture and identify who you are and who you might want to become...I just spent the better part of last week working with Ann Dougherty and her business....thanks to you!

Hugs,
Jacquie
...plays with food....

What does vacation mean to you?

2007-08-23T05:50:00.000-04:00

When you think of "vacation", do you think of going on new adventures? Packing the kids in the car with coolers and bug spray? Exploring a new city?

For my summer vacation, I'm spending half of it doing the family car trip, then I get a few days to myself. All I want during my upcoming break from work is unplanned time and the pure luxury of deciding what I want to do with it. Maybe I'll nap. Maybe I'll read, have lunch with a friend, go to the beach. Don't ask me what time I'll get there, I don't want to know. I think this is such decadence, to have no responsibility for much of anything for even just a few days.

I love the hustle and bustle of my career as much as anybody, maybe I love it a bit too much. But during this summer break from Marigold and Mary in the Morning, I will not be thinking about web site sponsors or upcoming speakers, not even the daunting task of converting my financials to Quickbooks 07. This is my challenge to myself, turn off the business brain and plug into...... absolutely nothing!

#1 Morning Show for WOMEN!

2007-08-16T06:13:00.000-04:00

Mary in the Morning is the #1 morning radio show among women age 35-54. We just got our first book of ratings from Arbitron (think TV's Nielsen) and the show came out on top! This show has been a group project from the get-go, and I want to thank all of our guests, the listeners, the many contributors of ideas and suggestions. Most of all, I'd like to thank my co-host and producer, Lori Cole who brings it all together.